


Blackberry Bushes

by liketolaugh



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: AU, Allen as Tiedoll's apprentice, Allen with a different master, Angst, Fluff, Gen, Mentions of past abuse, Pre-Canon, Training, idea from tumblr
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 01:13:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 38,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5848102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liketolaugh/pseuds/liketolaugh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That night after Allen turns Mana into an akuma, it isn't Cross Marian who picks him up. It's Tiedoll.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Blank Stare

Tiedoll had been known to wander into some strange places, but he had to admit, a graveyard in the dead of night was rather unusual, even for him.

He hadn't done it on _purpose,_ of course, but it was quite hard to see this late at night, and he'd been caught up in a particularly beautiful scene that he just had to paint. No wonder it kept changing on him! It had taken hours. And now he was having some difficulty finding lodging for the night. Shame.

Perhaps it was for the best, though, because if he'd come here in the morning, or indeed not come here at all, he might not have found that little boy.

He almost didn't, anyway. The poor child was tucked right up against a gravestone, and if the moon had been any dimmer he would have been invisible. As it was, Tiedoll fingered his weapon cautiously as he approached, eyes concerned.

"Child? Is something the matter?"

The child stared straight ahead with big, empty eyes. Tiedoll checked to see if he was breathing. He was.

"Child?" He came a little closer and paused.

Something shiny and wet coated the left side of the boy's face, and his arms hung limp at his sides. One of them had a glowing green cross embedded in the back, and Tiedoll's eyes turned solemn. Ah. So that was how it was.

He hated how many child exorcists there were lately.

Tiedoll knelt in front of the boy, all paranoia gone in favor of increasing concern. "Child?" He reached forward and tilted the boy's head up so their eyes met. The boy didn't even twitch. "Oh, dear. What's happened here, hm?"

He hadn't intended to enter the graveyard that night, but he was glad he had anyway.

Now bearing the unconscious child, he knocked on the first door he came to with a light still in the window. While he hated to disturb anyone, this had gone from 'idle' to 'rather important'; he needed to treat this child as soon as he could, so no delays were to be tolerated.

Sure enough, the man who answered was grumpy at being interrupted. "What the hell-" And then his gaze fell on the child in Tiedoll's arms. "Oh, it's him. You know 'im?"

"I'm afraid not," Tiedoll admitted cheerily, or as cheerily as he could with a catatonic child cradled in his arms. "Could you tell me?"

The man stared at him like he was crazy. Tiedoll was used to that, however.

"I don't know him myself, don't even know his name," the man said at last, still eying him warily. "But he's been in the graveyard for the past three days. His father or something died in a carriage accident and no one could get him up, and no one tried too hard besides." He shrugged. "Don't know what happened to his face, though."

"Thank you," Tiedoll said politely. He could put the rest together well enough himself; while it was rare for an exorcist to make an akuma, it wasn't unheard of. "Can you give me directions to the nearest inn, please?"

The man gave him directions, and Tiedoll thanked him again before leaving him to his work, humming quietly to the child in his arms.

It had been a while since he'd taken on a new apprentice. And he'd never taken on a parasite user before. He wondered what the child was like.

* * *

Most of Tiedoll's apprentices had arrived in some state of shock or other. Little Yuu, for example, had refused to speak for the first three months. Daisya had cried at the drop of a hat. Noise, some years older than the other two, had merely been stone-faced and tense, and prone to spacing out at odd moments.

This child, admittedly, was worse than any of them.

"Oh, bother," Tiedoll murmured, dabbing the last of the blood away from the fresh wound on the boy's face.

It was a wicked, unnatural gash, crooked and clean. At the top was a clear pentagram, standing out starkly against the pale skin. A curse scar.

"You're in for a difficult time, I'm afraid," Tiedoll told the unresponsive child, expression solemn and gentle. He set the bloody cloth aside and picked up some gauze and bandages. "Now, this may hurt, but it's quite necessary. I promise I'll be gentle."

Tiedoll had taken on many apprentices in his time as a general of the Order. He remembered each and every one of them - could draw their faces from memory even now. And though he knew it would hurt, he kept all of them close.

Exorcists were often vulnerable. Not in a physical sense, but emotionally, mentally, so many of them were battered and scarred, and the children worst of all. If anyone needed someone to care for them, it was the little exorcists. Unfortunately, in most cases, he was all but too late.

This one, he could tell already, would be no different. But it was not in Tiedoll's nature to give up on anyone, and silently, he promised him that he would be a rock for him, the same way he had been for so many others in their early days. He would care for the child until he could care for himself, protect him until he could protect himself, and then watch over him the best he could as he sent yet another child off to their doom.

He passed the cloth over the boy's face again and again, slowly covering up the left eye and, indeed, the entire left half of his face. As he did, he talked.

"I'm sorry this had to happen to you. You look quite young. Perhaps eight? Nine?" He sighed. "I always seem to find the children." He smiled humorously. "Well, better me than any of the others. I hate to imagine how Marian would handle a child. That man is hardly fit to be around _adults."_ He shook his head. "Never mind that. I may not know you, child, but I am certain that you can pull through this. You need only be strong."

Well. 'Only.' Tiedoll understood that that was quite a tall order, but he had faith. Any child that had made it this far could almost certainly make the final stretch, and when he crossed the finish line, Tiedoll would be waiting.

He patted the boy's hand. The boy shivered, but the boy had been shivering more or less constantly, with that same hollow, haunted look on his face, stricken and empty at once. It was unnerving, but then, he was used to Yuu's vicious scowls. Tiedoll smiled.

"I have quite a lot to explain to you, child, but first steps first, of course. I can be patient." The boy stared straight ahead, and Tiedoll's smile faded into a more sad look, and he repeated, "I can be patient."

And patient Tiedoll was. Over the next month and a half, Tiedoll learned more about caring for a catatonic patient than he had ever especially cared to, but he bore it nonetheless. He fed the child, washed him, changed his clothes, and woke him from his nightmares. Each day, he grew more worried. Perhaps he had been wrong.

Finally, though, the child woke up, and Tiedoll smiled, relieved and happy and weary at once.

"Who are you?" the boy whispered, head turning to him with that same haunted look, the first words he'd spoken in over a month.

"My name is Froi Tiedoll, child," Tiedoll said gently, placing a hand on the boy's head. The boy swallowed and looked at him, pensive and weary and confused. "And we have much to discuss, but first, will you please tell me your name?"

"...Allen. My name is... Allen."


	2. In Time

It was late, and Tiedoll and Allen had stopped to camp for the night in the middle of the forest, out of easy sight of the path. It had been a week since Allen had woken, and Tiedoll was just starting to learn about his new apprentice.

He was quiet, but all of them were quiet in the beginning; it may not last. He seemed wary of Tiedoll, and often distant. He was distinctly mistrustful, as well, though not as much so as Yuu had been. And he was hungry. Tiedoll smiled.

There was more. With each of his apprentices, Tiedoll had been able to glean a certain amount of information about their pasts from their behavior - he had always been a perceptive man, and the need to survive and to keep his apprentices safe had only sharpened his ability.

He knew that Marie was used to hard work and people who tried to look after his best interests, sometimes without success, so he set Marie to a stern regimen and kept looking after him as a parent would. He knew that he had been harshly discouraged from even hinting at any interest in music, so he in turn encouraged Marie with all the enthusiasm he could muster.

He knew that Daisya had always been ignored to the point of neglect and had needed to act out to get any attention at all, so he let the boy tire himself out and paid attention to him every time he asked, verbally or otherwise. He knew that he had been punished too harshly, so he kept himself to scoldings or training-based punishments on most occasions.

He knew that Yuu had never been outside before and had been kept in strict isolation, so he explained everything the child looked curious about and told him as many stories as he could think of. He knew that he had been pushed too hard too fast, so he was patient and gentle through the silence and the anger.

In this same way, Tiedoll could tell that Allen had never had a single place to call home and had rarely seen a kind face, that he was used to abuse and taking care of himself because no one else would.

As a master, Tiedoll was most valuable for his ability to evaluate the most relevant parts of his apprentices' pasts and respond accordingly. On the whole, his apprentices tended to come out less damaged, more stable, more _reliable._

Tiedoll had no illusions about the fact that that was the only reason he was allowed such free reign with them.

Still, one of the most rewarding parts of the job - one of the few things he still lived for - was helping them heal, and on this point, Tiedoll was not open to compromise. Nothing would damage his apprentices further while he could still stop it.

The first part of that was keeping them away from Headquarters until they could handle it.

On the other hand, Tiedoll was well aware that if he insisted on coddling his apprentices overmuch, his training privileges would be revoked, and then there would be no one to help them. So he still had to train them in the art of exorcism.

"Allen," he said suddenly, making the boy jump and look at him, wide-eyed and startled; they had been sitting in silence for some time. He smiled gently and continued, "Do you remember what I said about Innocence?"

Allen nodded cautiously; he spoke almost as little as Yuu had, that first month.

"Well." Tiedoll looked back to his food, still smiling, though it was sadder now. "We will need to begin training soon. Do you think that you could activate it again, or do you need help?"

Allen was silent for a long time, and when Tiedoll looked back, his head was tilted, and he was frowning slightly - thoughtful. Not ignoring him.

"I don't know," Allen said at last. "I don't really remember how I did it the first time." He hesitated, and then added, "I think it activated itself."

"That has been known to happen," Tiedoll conceded, and then reassured him, "Don't worry. We'll figure out a way. Do you remember what it felt like?"

Allen shook his head. He was tense now, uncomfortable and reluctant.

"Alright." Tiedoll placed his bowl down and stood up, crossing the clearing to sit beside Allen, who was abruptly twice as tense as he had been, leaning away slightly. Tiedoll thought it might be subconscious, but he was careful anyway. "May I see your arm, Allen?"

Allen flinched. It, like most of his signals, was subtle, but distinct. Much less subtle was the way he tucked his arm away, out of sight, and scooted away.

Tiedoll frowned and tucked this reaction away to think of later; it at least explained why Allen refused to so much as take off his gloves around him. Meanwhile, he said gently, "I've seen your arm before, Allen. It's nothing to be worried about." _I won't hurt you,_ he wanted to add, but these children never believed him at first.

That would come with time.

Allen eyed him warily, but after a moment, he nodded and surrendered his arm, holding it out. Tiedoll pretended not to notice the way he looked ready to bolt at one wrong move and took hold of the slightly shaking hand.

"All Innocences are different," Tiedoll explained. He moved closer to Allen's new location and pulled the glove away, examining his newest and youngest apprentice's Innocence. "As such, they are activated in different ways and take different forms. What did yours look like? Do you remember?"

Allen's Innocence had affected his left arm in such a way that it was visibly unusual, almost deformed. The skin was wrinkled and red, and a glowing green cross was embedded in the back of his hand; it looked unnatural, which was appropriate, since it was.

"It made my arm huge," Allen said softly, watching him like a hawk as he touched his hand and fingers. "And white, like picked bones. It didn't seem to have joints."

Tiedoll hummed appreciatively and nodded. "I see. You remember that clearly?"

Allen nodded.

Tiedoll was somewhat reluctant to take off Allen's coat - Allen was a very thin boy, and it was still February and quite cold out - but it would only be for a moment, and he'd like to see the rest of his arm again.

"How did you use it?" Tiedoll inquired, distracting Allen as he continued to look over his parasitic Innocence. The place where it joined with his arm looked forced, like it had been grafted on rather than smoothly joined. "Do you remember that feeling?" Like using a muscle you never realized you had.

"It used itself," Allen answered, a hitch in his breath and a tightness to his voice that indicated how very much he didn't want to discuss this. Tiedoll held back a frown; that, too, was unusual.

He released Allen's arm, satisfied, and let Allen replace his coat and glove. He also let Allen pretend that it was because he was cold, and not because he wanted to hide his Innocence away again.

"That could make things difficult," Tiedoll admitted, pondering, and Allen gave him an uncertain look, but didn't move away again. "Let's try this. You remember what it looks like when activated, so please visualize that for me. Think of it, and think of how strong you were, and ask your Innocence to borrow that strength back."

Parasitic Innocences were very unusual, and difficult to manage. Tiedoll had never worked with a child with one before. He had to admit, he was interested.

"Okay," Allen said quietly, and he closed his eyes. He was silent for a few long moments, and when he spoke again, his voice was uncertain, tinged with doubt. "Innocence? Can you help me be strong?" No response. Tiedoll expected Allen to open his eyes and look to him for help, as most children would, but instead, the corners of his mouth turned downward and he pushed, "I need to be strong. I need to _become_ strong. For Mana. For the others like him." And then, fierce for the first time in Tiedoll's memory, _"Help me."_

Those last words were filled with such steel and determination that it startled Tiedoll, and the Innocence responded to that - it glowed bright green and grew into a massive arm-like claw, unwieldy but surely strong. Tiedoll smiled.

To be able to get it so quickly, Allen must have a strong bond with his Innocence indeed.

He started to clap, laughing a little, and Allen gave him a startled look, almost wary. Tiedoll smiled at him, eyes sparkling and pride in every line of his face.

"Well done, Allen. Very well done!"

A dark flush spread across Allen's cheeks, and he stared at Tiedoll with such a look of shock and longing that it hurt Tiedoll's heart. A moment later, he deactivated his Innocence, and then ducked his head, his white hair hiding his eyes. Tiedoll's pride turned to worry as Allen crossed his arms and went still.

"Allen? My boy?"

"I'm not your boy," Allen said quietly, but firmly. And then, "I'm going to sleep. Goodnight, Master."

He crawled into the sleeping bag and curled up, facing away from Tiedoll, and Tiedoll sighed, his smile fading away.

It would take time. Of course it would.

All any of them ever needed was time, and a gentle hand to help them up.


	3. Inn Tears

Two weeks after Allen woke up, the two of them walked into the third town since they started. Normally, Tiedoll would travel much more slowly, but he'd quickly learned that Allen _enjoyed_ travelling, moving quickly.

He wondered if Allen, or perhaps his late father, had been running from something.

Allen was still inclined to stay quiet, but he seemed to like listening, so Tiedoll filled the silence with stories about his other apprentices, as many as he could think of.

Some of the people they passed gave them strange looks, but Tiedoll was long used to such things and Allen didn't seem to mind, so he disregarded them entirely. Instead, he told Allen about the first time Marie had played for him.

"-and he played half the night, I believe, before he finally got tired," Tiedoll finished, smiling at the memory; Marie had been so nervous at first.

Tiedoll allowed the silence following his story to linger, as he had after every story, to give Allen the chance to speak. Allen remained silent, though, so Tiedoll took a deep breath, casting his mind around for another tale to tell.

Before he got a chance to start, however, Allen asked suddenly, eyes still focused on the ground, "Will I meet them?"

"When I take you to Headquarters," Tiedoll promised him, not bothering to hide his delight. "Marie will love you, I'm sure, and Daisya will be thrilled."

"And Kanda?" Allen asked doubtfully.

Tiedoll chuckled ruefully. "Well, who can really say? Yuu is Yuu, I'm afraid."

Allen shrugged like he didn't care and asked, "When are we going to Headquarters?"

"When you're ready," Tiedoll said, more solemnly this time. For starters, Allen would have to stop flinching every time someone yelled in his vicinity, and shying away from physical contact. If he could look people in the eyes, that would be nice also.

Allen shrugged again, gray eyes still cast to the ground. He still looked tense and uneasy, so Tiedoll set about reassuring him.

"You'll like it at Headquarters; most of us do. There's one young lady about your age, Lenalee Lee, who had been there almost as long as I have. I assure you, she's very nice. Her older brother is now in charge, as well, and he has the exorcists' best interests at heart." Komui had made that clear within the first year, and the exorcists had never been treated more humanely.

Sadly, despite Komui's best efforts, that still wasn't saying much, so Tiedoll wanted to make sure Allen was ready first. It wasn't that he didn't believe Allen could handle it - he certainly could - but he'd prefer that no more damage was dealt to the boys in his care. At least, no more than was avoidable.

A glint of light distracted Tiedoll from his sobering thoughts, and he smiled as the world took a moment to remind him that there were _always_ beautiful things left in it. Not too far away was a river, flowing under a bridge and swimming with ducks. His hands itched for his sketchbook.

"Why don't we take a moment?" Tiedoll asked Allen, already seeking out a good vantage point. When he looked back, Allen was frowning at him, confused.

"Don't we need to keep going?" he asked quizzically.

Tiedoll was effectively distracted once again and took a moment to place a hand on Allen's head. "Of course not, Allen. The journey is every bit as important as the destination, and it's perfectly alright to take a moment to enjoy it. I promise."

Allen stared at him, clearly dubious. Tiedoll chuckled, found his spot, and moved toward it, rummaging in his bag.

Under Allen's watchful eye, Tiedoll pulled out his sketchbook and then his pencils, and considered the scene in front of him. Then he set his pencil to paper and started to draw.

After a few minutes, he sensed Allen hovering just behind him, peeking over his shoulder. Tiedoll carefully didn't acknowledge him, but he was acutely aware of the boy standing over him, curious and strangely open in this lingering moment.

He wondered what Allen was thinking.

The silence held for a long time, but finally, Allen's stomach rumbled audibly, and Tiedoll sighed, smiled humorously, and put his sketchbook away. Then he stood up and sensed Allen scrambling back hastily, badly startled.

Tiedoll pretended not to notice and turned to give Allen a cheerful smile. "I suppose it's time to find something to east and a place to spend the night, isn't it, Allen?"

Allen shrugged, but when Tiedoll started to move, he was right behind him, tagging along.

He was quiet all the way to the inn and all through dinner, and then all the way up to the room. It was when they arrived there, and he was sitting on his bed, that he finally spoke.

"Aren't you going to make me train?"

"Yes," Tiedoll admitted; it never served well to lie to these children. He could see Allen bracing himself, and he cut that off before it could start, expression sober. "But not before you're ready. You're still mourning your father, Allen, and you don't trust me, not yet." He crossed the room so he crouched in front of Allen, placed a hand on his head, and ruffled his hair with a gentle smile. "Don't worry. We can wait."

Allen stared at him like he was messing with his entire worldview. It was probably for the best. Tiedoll suspected that his worldview was horrible skewed.

Then, suddenly, Allen pushed Tiedoll's hand away and scooted back until his back hit the wall, casting his eyes aside with a very faint scowl.

"You're too much like Mana," Allen told him, voice strangely rough. Then, defiant, "You're not Mana, okay? You're not! You never will be!"

"I know," Tiedoll said soothingly, taking a step back and raising his hands, open-palmed, in an attempt to calm him. "I know. And I'm not trying to be."

Allen sniffled, one hand reaching up to rub at his eyes and scowl turning into a pinched, mournful look. It was at this point that he seemed to realize he was crying.

That was, apparently, the last straw. His shoulder started to shake with silent sobs, and the tears went from tickles to streams as he visibly crumpled where he sat, curling into a grieving little ball.

Tiedoll was back across the room in a moment, rubbing his back soothingly and letting the child lean on him - he'd long lost track of the number of times he'd held a child as they cried, and by now it was almost second nature, even though it pulled at his heart every time.

"I miss him," Allen croaked through his tears, still shaking, eyes screwed shut and face turned into Tiedoll. Tiedoll listened patiently, solemn. "I hurt him and he hates me but I miss him."

"It's okay to miss him," Tiedoll replied quietly, "as long as you remember that you can live without him."

Allen sniffled, breath stuttering unsteadily. "It hurts," he whispered plaintively, volume half what it had been before.

"I know," Tiedoll murmured, rubbing his back like he was a much smaller child than he was. "But it's okay. You'll be okay." Seeing Allen still struggling with himself, he added, "It's okay to cry."

Allen looked up at him with miserable eyes filled with tears, and then he buried his face in Tiedoll's shoulder and cried.

Tiedoll didn't let him go until he was sure Allen was asleep, and then, it was only to put him to bed.


	4. Soul-Seeing

Three months. It took three months for Allen to feel comfortable around Tiedoll, to not flinch every time Tiedoll touched him or jump when he made a sudden movement.

At the three month mark, Tiedoll took him into Finland.

Unlike Nyne, who roamed the Americas, and Cross, who Tiedoll thought was somewhere in the vast expanses of East Europe, Asia, and/or Africa, Tiedoll and Yeegar usually kept to the more developed parts of Europe. There weren't as many akuma, but those that existed were more likely to be noticed. (Zokalo went wherever he wanted to and no one could stop him. Much like Cross, but more explicitly violent and better tracked.)

Finland was currently experiencing a widespread famine, which made akuma encounters more likely than not within its borders. While generally hazardous for any exorcist that entered, it made it an ideal training environment, as long as you were careful. It didn't take long to stumble across akuma, which couldn't necessarily be said for other areas.

Allen's hand to hand was good. His acrobatics were interesting, and Tiedoll had to admit, sometimes amusing as well, and a little theatrical.

Well, of course. Allen had mentioned that he'd been a clown.

They were whittling away the theatrics, though, bit by bit, as it wasted energy. Tiedoll thought he'd let the child keep a little, though. He seemed to enjoy it.

"How old was your niece?" Allen asked. His voice was still quiet, and he still didn't like to talk about himself, but was engaging more and more every day.

"She was six, the last time I saw her," Tiedoll said wistfully. The thought used to hurt, but the pain had dulled. He hoped she was doing well. "She turned twenty-two three months ago, on the sixteenth."

"Where do you think she is?" Allen inquired, eyes on the ground and hands clasped behind his back.

"Still in Paris, I expect," Tiedoll answered, mind now miles and miles away - wondering the same thing, actually. "She wanted to be a schoolteacher when she was very small, but she'll be beautiful, like her mother. Others will expect her to marry."

Allen made a soft sound of agreement and fell silent. Tiedoll, used to this by now, kept talking as if he hadn't noticed.

"Her mother is very meek, so she may want Frances to go along with them, but Frances is a very strong-willed girl, so she may get her way in the end." He'd thought about this a thousand times, but he wasn't allowed within a city's radius of them, and it wasn't worth the risk.

He had seen what the Order had done to the children in the Artificial Apostle experiments, and he wouldn't risk that happening to Frances, or to whatever children she may have.

So he played the same thoughts over and over, wondering if Frances was okay, if her mother Claire, Tiedoll's sister, had recovered from her second birth alright, if the second child was a boy or a girl, what their name was-

"W-what?"

Startled, Tiedoll broke out of his thoughts and looked down at his littlest apprentice, and-

Apparently the curse had finally shown itself.

"What… is…" Allen was pale a sheet, close to hyperventilating, and looked more terrified than Tiedoll had ever seen him. His left eye, struck through with the bold scar, was black and red, and focused on something Tiedoll couldn't see, just above a man in a frock coat.

Then Allen took a step back, opened his mouth as if to scream, and then crumpled to the ground and gagged, eyes screwed shut.

"Allen!"

Tiedoll moved toward his collapsed apprentice, but self-preservation instincts kept him aware.

Curses were always awful - that was, after all, the point. Tiedoll knew only a few people with curses - Yuu the most prominent among them - but there was a trend. They were awful, but they were also, invariably, useful.

Allen had seen something he had not.

In the next moment, the screaming started, and Tiedoll turned, eyes wide behind his thick glasses.

The man in the frock coat was gone; in his place was an akuma, looming and ominous, guns already swivelling toward them with its unwavering gaze fixed on Tiedoll.

Behind him, Tiedoll could hear the sound of retching; Allen was in no shape to fight this first akuma. That was a shame, but Tiedoll could dispatch it easily enough, and then he could find out what Allen had seen.

He had a sneaking suspicion, of course, and despite Allen's current reaction, it filled him with more excitement than he liked to admit. If Allen could see akuma… That would change _everything._

"Maker of Eden," he commanded, his staff falling into his hand with the ease of long practice. "Art! Witness the beauty of this world!"

The familiar command brought a rush of energy surging up his arm and into his heart, and it was with little thought and less effort that he brought forth a much smaller version of his usual statues to swipe at the akuma.

The akuma fell easily and the statue crumbled to dust as Tiedoll let it go.

All of the people who had been in the street had run away in the minute they'd had, so it was just him and Allen in the street, something Tiedoll was thankful for. He dropped to his knees beside Allen, who was still retching, up on his head and knees now, with a pool of sick beneath him and a blotchy face streaked with tears.

"Sh, sh," Tiedoll murmured, rubbing Allen's back as he retched a few more times, gasping for breath and letting out something like strangled sobs between heaves. "Sh, you're okay, you're fine, you're alive and well. It's gone. It's gone."

When it looked like Allen was done, Tiedoll handed him a handkerchief to wipe his face with, and Allen, chest still heaving as he tried to get enough air, wiped at his face and then his mouth. He gave it back, and Tiedoll tucked it into a pocket where it wouldn't contaminate anything.

Allen just stared at him with wide eyes, looking every inch the traumatized child, and Tiedoll let the silence linger for a few moments before he finally asked,

"What did you see?"

"...It looked like Mana."

Tiedoll's eyes sharpened slightly. So Allen hadn't seen the akuma in its mechanical state, else it wouldn't have looked like his dead father. "What did you see?" he repeated.

"The... " Allen swallowed and reached up to scrub at his face, breath hitching dangerously. "The person, it looked…" Allen couldn't hold back another strangled whimper. "It looked… rotten. It was screaming, I… Master…"

The person.

Rotten.

"It was above the person," Allen whispered. "But it looked different, like… it was a girl. A little girl. but rotten."

It had to be the soul.

"Oh, Allen," Tiedoll murmured, pulling the boy closer regardless of sick. "I'm sorry."


	5. One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

"Just a little further, Allen," Tiedoll urged, fingers gently clasped around the curve of his apprentice's elbow. "We'll be able to settle down soon. Come on, walk for me, please."

Tiedoll wasn't entirely sure that Allen was listening to him, but at least, the boy kept putting one foot in front of the other in a blind, stumbling walk.

The first activation of his curse had left Allen in a daze, unaware of his surroundings and staring straight ahead with haunted, unseeing eyes. More than almost anything else, Tiedoll deeply regretted that this child's inevitable path could only lead him to more of the pitiable creatures. Those souls would haunt Allen for the rest of his life.

For now, Tiedoll could only lead him to a resting place and help him move past this. Unfortunately, avoidance would never be a viable solution, not for the children Tiedoll found.

He ignored the stares and suspicious looks of passersby, half his attention on Allen and the rest on his surroundings, looking for a specific house.

He found it on a street three blocks from the akuma incident - closer than he might have liked, but it would have to do. He allowed himself a faint, thankful smile.

"You're fine, Allen, we're nearly there," he murmured, tugging lightly. Allen followed blindly, and Tiedoll's smile flickered away, leaving him solemn.

It wasn't as bad as after his father's death - he was, after all, walking on his own - but whatever form the akuma's soul took (those few descriptors Allen had offered were certainly awful) it had been bad enough to send Allen into a minor relapse.

He knocked on the door and received a response almost immediately, a blond-haired blue-eyed middle-aged man answering the door.

"General," he greeted, looking surprised. "I haven't seen you in quite some time."

Tiedoll granted him a faint, distracted smile. "It's good to see you again as well, professor."

The professor started to smile, but then he caught Tiedoll's worried demeanor, and his gaze fell to the boy beside him, staring at the ground and eerily still.

"Come in," he said, tone suddenly softer and more serious. "I can't cook worth a damn, but I'll find something for the two of you. Do you need anything?"

"Only a place to stay tonight, and perhaps a bit of warm water," Tiedoll assured him. Allen's scar looked inflamed and painful, and his eye was bloodshot; hopefully the effect would fade with time. Then, picking up on the man's concern, he added, "I'm afraid he's had a bit of a shock, but a good night's sleep would do him good."

"Done," the man promised, and as soon as Tiedoll and Allen were inside, he'd closed the door and disappeared into the kitchen.

Tiedoll sat Allen down on the couch and took a place beside him. For a moment, he studied the boy, considering him. Finally, he reached forward to take Allen's human hand and asked, keeping his tone low and inoffensive, "Allen, can you hear me?"

It took a moment, but eventually, Allen swallowed, and then, slowly, nodded.

Tiedoll smiled slightly, relieved. "Look at me, Allen," he requested.

This, too, took some time, but at last, without changing expression, Allen dragged his eyes away from the demons in his mind and looked at Tiedoll. Tiedoll smiled gently.

"That's it, child," he said quietly. "We're staying with an old acquaintance of mine, a supporter of the Black Order. His name is Amycus Hensworth; he's a professor at the local university."

Allen blinked at him, confusion clearing away the haunted look his gaze had held previous. Tiedoll kept his smile steady.

"We'll be here for a few days," he continued. "Tomorrow, we can talk about what happened, and before the week's end we can go out and try again."

Tiedoll could see Allen pale sharply at the thought of seeing the soul again, but despite that, Tiedoll's words were enough to prompt Allen to find his voice.

"I'm sorry for being useless," Allen whispered, slightly hoarse and almost too soft to hear.

Tiedoll squeezed Allen's hand, and Allen looked down, as if he'd only just noticed Tiedoll was holding it. Apparently in subconscious response to this revelation, he twisted his hand, and Tiedoll obligingly let go. Kanda hated being touched, too.

"You did nothing wrong," Tiedoll promised, allowing the exchange to pass by without comment. "It caught us both by surprise. But now we know what your curse does, Allen, and that means we can prepare for it."

Allen stared at him, grey eyes dark and jaded, and a cough made both of them of them look up.

Amycus had returned from the kitchen, bearing a bowl full of water and a smile belied by the worry in his eyes.

Tiedoll smiled at him and reached to receive the bowl. "Thank you, Amycus. I apologize for dropping in so unexpectedly."

"Don't worry, I know how it is," Amycus chuckled.

Tiedoll smiled and nodded, and when he looked back down, it was to see Allen with his wary gaze still on Amycus. This was one of the reasons Tiedoll had brought Allen here in particular; Allen quite clearly hated talking about himself, and Amycus, Tiedoll knew, wouldn't pry.

Tiedoll's contacts were generally more reputable than, say, Marian's, but they were still fully capable of discretion. He wouldn't come back otherwise. Besides, Amycus didn't really want to know.

"Come here, Allen," Tiedoll said at last, attracting his apprentice's reluctant attention. He took the washcloth swimming in the water and wrung it out. "Let's take care of your eye."

Amycus sat down at the opposite end of the couch, which was why Tiedoll had chosen to sit in the middle. "So what brings you here, General? I know you aren't fond of the area."

"Training," Tiedoll explained with a small smile. "As you well know, Amycus." He gave the cloth to Allen. "Hold this over your eye. It should help it feel better."

Allen nodded and obeyed, and soon enough the irritated left eye was hidden from view. The other lingered on the two adults, a small frown on his face.

"Of course, what else?" Amycus said ruefully. "I suppose it's the only thing Finland is good for now."

"There are worse areas," Tiedoll assured him. "I just prefer not to take my apprentices to those sorts of places."

Amycus grimaced, then looked at Allen. "So, you're General Tiedoll's newest apprentice. How old are you?"

"Ten, sir," Allen said quietly, and he offered a shy smile that made Amycus smile broadly back.

Ah, yes. The clown phenomenon.

Tiedoll was still deciding whether or not to discourage this.

Then Amycus seemed to process the implications of that statement, and the smile faded. Amycus, like Tiedoll, hated the child exorcists. He couldn't openly protest, though, because he was depending on the Order to get him through the famine.

"How long have you been with the general?" Amycus asked, doing his best to remain cheerful. Allen smiled brightly, seeming to settle more comfortably into his mask. Tiedoll still was not sure how to feel about that.

"Just a few months," he said politely. "He's been very good to me."

"Of course he has," Amycus chuckled. "What's your Innocence, then? May I see it?"

Allen's smile flickered, and at this point, Tiedoll interfered.

"Amycus, how has the akuma population been lately?"

Amycus' face turned more serious, and Tiedoll saw Allen relax slightly as the conversation was turned away from him.

"I won't lie, General, the situation has only been getting worse…"


	6. For Your Consideration

Tiedoll woke up the next morning, and only had to turn his head before he found Allen, who was sitting cross-legged on the cot that was on the opposite side of the room, staring back thoughtfully.

Allen was inscrutable at the best of times, and more intelligent than he liked to appear, Tiedoll knew, and it was difficult at any given time to figure out what, precisely, he was thinking. He let his apprentice examine him to his heart's content and smiled warmly.

"Good morning, Allen. How did you sleep last night?"

Allen shrugged. "I slept okay. But I woke up early."

He seemed to be waiting for something, grey eyes never wavering from Tiedoll's face, and there was something tense in the line of his shoulders and back. Tiedoll kept the conversation going as he tried to figure out what it was. "I can see that. Did you have a nightmare?"

Allen nodded. "I was worried that I woke you up."

 _And probably woke up far too early yourself,_ Tiedoll thought privately. "Don't worry about waking me, child. Your mental health is more important than this old man's sleep."

A flicker of genuine amusement crossed Allen's face, and Tiedoll offered a self-deprecating smile, which made Allen return with a small one. "You don't need to worry about me either," Allen told him, completely honestly. "I'm used to dealing with things on my own, so it's okay."

He wasn't wearing his gloves.

It had taken a surprisingly long time for Tiedoll to notice, considering that that had been one of the things he had been waiting for. But there it was - Allen was resting his hands on his knees, deliberately exposed, and the green glass cross on the back of his left hand was clearly visible. Tiedoll allowed a smile to appear on his face, and Allen's hand twitched on his knee, but stayed in plain sight.

Tiedoll didn't mention it - he was starting to get the hang of his youngest apprentice's personality, or so he liked to think - but continued on. "I know, and it's good that you are capable of that; it will serve you well in the future. Never forget, though, Allen, that you're allowed to express discomfort. You don't need to pretend."

Allen's smile disappeared briefly, replaced by a frown, and then reappeared, a little more false, but with that same scrutinizing look in his eyes. Tiedoll was still being tested.

Tiedoll was very familiar with this, however. Most of his other apprentices had done the same thing.

"What if I want to?" Allen asked him. Tiedoll was surprised, and he let it show, and then his expression turned thoughtful as he considered the question, which he had himself been wondering.

 _"Do_ you want to?" Tiedoll returned, scrutinizing his apprentice right back. Almost instantly, Allen cast his eyes to the ground, and his right hand half-covered his left. And then he nodded. "If it helps you, then it's okay. Just as long as you have people you can be yourself around."

All exorcists had their ways of coping, both with their various troubled pasts and their current occupation. If Allen's was to pretend to be someone else, then Tiedoll would have to learn to accept that, even if it made him sad. It wasn't about him, after all.

Allen relaxed, and a small, genuine smile crossed his face, very different from the one Tiedoll saw most often. He returned it with interest, warm and pleased. There was nothing more rewarding, he decided, than having these children learn to open up to him, if in their own ways. (He made a mental note to draw this moment later; he wanted to remember it.)

"Okay," Allen replied, and Tiedoll got the feeling that he really _would_ try to follow that advice, which made his smile all the more broad.

"Now," Tiedoll continued, hating to break the mood, but needing to address the topic before long. His expression resolved itself into something more serious, and Allen's followed suit, with a furrow of confusion in his brow. "About yesterday."

Allen ducked his head. "I'm sorry," he muttered, automatically tucking his arms into his lap. "I'll be better next time."

"I know you will," Tiedoll reassured him. Allen himself would settle for nothing less. "However, we _do_ need to discuss it. Allen, would you mind telling me what you found so upsetting about what you saw?"

Allen hesitated. He hesitated for an abnormally long time, even for him, and Tiedoll was about to ask again right before he finally spoke, soft and vulnerable.

"...They're suffering so much. They're screaming, and crying, and... It's scary. I… I don't..."

Tiedoll waited, but Allen, pale as a sheet all over again, didn't look prepared to continue. "Is that all?" Tiedoll prompted, keeping his tones low.

Allen looked at the ground again and nodded.

Tiedoll smiled gently. "Allen, did you see what happened when I destroyed the akuma?"

Allen swallowed and nodded. "Yeah," he whispered. "It went free and said thank you."

Quietly awed, Tiedoll tucked that tidbit away for the times when even he laid awake at night and replied, "Then you can help them. Like my Innocence did, yours can set them free. Focus on the ways you can help, Allen, not on the ways you can't."

Allen looked up at him again, meeting his eyes, and Tiedoll smiled as he saw Allen taking careful note of his words, and he knew that the child would never forget them.

Tiedoll straightened up, deciding that they were done for now. Anything else could be addressed at a different time. "Now, let's go. Amycus will have left some time ago, but I'm sure we can find something for breakfast, yes?"

Allen smiled slightly, nodded, and hopped down from the bed while Tiedoll started to change into day clothes. The first thing he did was pull his gloves on, and then he, too, hurried to get dressed and follow Tiedoll to the kitchen.


	7. Second Chances

Allen was fidgeting nervously.

This wasn't the first time they'd gone out since their retreat from that first akuma (though Allen had been jumpy each time) but it was the first time they had gone out and actively _searched_ for one.

The poorest parts of town, where people went hungry even in good times and no one walked down the street without looking over their shoulder, always had the most akuma, and this place was no exception. Tiedoll wasn't surprised to see that Allen looked more at home here than almost anywhere else, but he chose not to comment; now was not the time.

Except apparently Allen disagreed, because he said quietly, hands clasped behind his back and eyes fixed on the ground, "It's much worse here than it was in London."

Tiedoll started slightly - he hadn't been expecting Allen to speak at all - but processed the words easily enough and nodded. "As I said, there is famine here, and has been for quite some time. Even the very worst parts of London were wealthy compared to most of those here."

Allen let out a small hum. "Is that why the professor didn't say anything about me?"

Tiedoll gave Allen a startled look, and then chuckled softly, reaching over to ruffle the boy's hair gently. It was too easy to forget that the boy noticed much more than he chose to comment on.

Allen absently batted the hand away, but Tiedoll ignored it; he'd reach the boy soon enough, he was sure. "Yes, that is why. If he complains, he risks losing the food the Order gives him, and then he will be very deep in trouble indeed." Tiedoll couldn't fault the man for wanting to stay alive.

Allen nodded and then changed the subject abruptly. "Are you going to start training me soon?"

It was a question Allen had been asking him more and more often lately; Tiedoll wouldn't tell him so, but he was waiting for the last of the trepidation to leave his voice before he began. When Allen stopped dreading it, and started to anticipate it, then he would be ready.

For now, he said, "I've trained you enough to get you through a fight. You know this." Allen had been clearly capable of fighting already, but it had been extremely rough at first.

Still, he was training him - simply not as hard as he was planning to in the future.

Apparently, Allen was aware of this. He gave Tiedoll a deeply unimpressed look, which made the man chuckle in fond amusement.

"I know what beginner's training looks like," Allen muttered, with a hint of brooding rebelliousness that Tiedoll would rather not admit to dreading, as that would undoubtedly make it go away. "And I'm not that weak anymore, okay? I can take it."

"Of course you can," Tiedoll reassured him.

Allen frowned, but then he sighed and glanced up, and then he paused. The iris of his left eye twisted as his curse activated, turning his eye black and red.

Akuma always had the most peculiar sense of timing.

Tiedoll's eyes darted along Allen's line of sight to try and find the akuma Allen had spotted, and his hand reached forward to grasp Allen's shoulder, while the other gripped his staff - just in case.

"Allen, what do you see?" Tiedoll prompted, squeezing his shoulder to get his attention.

Allen had gone so pale he looked a little green, but, by what appeared to be sheer force of will, he wasn't throwing up this time. "An akuma," he whispered, all traces of levity gone. "It's a… a man, he's old-"

Well, that was more than Tiedoll had actually wanted to know. It had always been easier not to think about the fact that every single akuma was the product of someone who loved another enough to try and call them back from Heaven.

So much for that.

"Focus, Allen," Tiedoll said firmly. "That's enough. It is an akuma, yes?" Allen nodded. "And what did you promise to do with akuma?"

"...To save them," Allen murmured, and he broke away from Tiedoll's grip at the same time the akuma spotted them and transformed.

The next few minutes were a tense blur. Allen activated his Innocence in a heartbeat and was moving in the next, and Tiedoll worked as both mentor and a second pair of eyes as the new exorcist tackled his first akuma.

It took a while, and there were a few close calls, but in the end, the great balloon of the akuma's corpse crashed to the ground, and Allen landed (from one of his frequent jumps) just beside it, panting slightly, bruised and scratched, brow furrowed and eyes dark and intent.

Tiedoll let out a long, relieved breath. His youngest apprentice had made it through his first fight.

As he watched, Allen's eyes drifted upward, and the smallest of smiles flashed across his face before he stood up, stepped back, and let go of his activation, causing his arm to shrink back to its natural, wrinkled-red state. For a few minutes, in the abandoned street, both of them were silent.

Finally, though, Tiedoll let a wide smile spread across his face, warm pride blooming in his chest. Allen had done it. He'd pulled himself out of the abyss Tiedoll had found him in, and he was moving forward.

He let out a short, but genuinely happy laugh, which seemed to startled Allen out of his contemplation, making the boy turn toward him with a quizzical look. Tiedoll strode forward in quick, smooth steps and, without warning, dropped down enough to wrap his arms around the boy in a tight hug, relieved and happy and proud.

"Well done, Allen," Tiedoll got out around the emotion clogging his throat. "Well done!"

Allen was very still in his arms, clearly startled, but finally, he leaned forward slightly and returned the gesture, squeezing almost as tightly and with easily as much feeling.

"Thank you," he murmured, and Tiedoll could have cried.

Allen was doing so _well._


	8. Line Drawing

Toward the end of spring, Tiedoll shifted Allen from the light, beginner's training into something more intensive.

It was about three days before he decided that he had definitely made the right choice.

Allen took to the training like a champ, and Tiedoll made sure to tell him so, which made him smile even while he winced. He never complained, no matter how hard Tiedoll pushed him, and worked at everything with a bullheaded determination that was useful now but probably boded ill for the future.

Slowly, Allen grew accustomed to the harsh regimen. He stopped wincing at the end of every day and grimacing every morning, and he began to improve at an almost alarming rate.

Tiedoll was proud. He's been proud when his first apprentice (a teenage girl long dead now) took to her training, and he was proud now.

By the time summer was in full swing, the runs, the strength training, and the agility exercises were all just another part of the routine, letting them both direct their energy to other matters again. It was at this time that Tiedoll asked a question that had been bothering him for a while.

"Allen, is something wrong with your hand?"

Allen, currently halfway through his dinner, looked down at his perfectly fine right hand, then his carefully concealed left, and finally, glanced back up and gave Tiedoll a Look.

Tiedoll poorly stifled a chuckle and elaborated, "Your left. For as long as I've known you, you've never seemed to know what to do with it, and you seem to have some difficulty moving it."

Allen blinked, slightly surprised, and actually put his food down. He lifted his left hand, which had been resting, inert, on his lap, and slowly made a fist with it, then relaxed it again. He had a peculiarly thoughtful expression on his face, and then he looked at Tiedoll and offered a smile and a small shrug.

"Nothing's wrong with it," he denied, placing it on the table now. "I'm just not used to being able to use it, is all."

Tiedoll 'hm'ed, frowning. "No?"

"It was paralyzed until my Innocence activated," Allen explained. "Actually, it's still kind of numb and hard to use, so I just… don't, usually." He shrugged. "It's not like I depend on it or anything."

"May I see?" Tiedoll asked, wondering silently how many times he'd need to examine his apprentice's left hand. Parasitic users were certainly more complicated than equipment users.

Allen shrugged and held it out, and Tiedoll took it in one of his own. For the next few minutes, both of them were quiet, speaking only to ask and answer questions as Tiedoll tested Allen's sensitivity and range of motion.

Finally, Tiedoll let go and smiled at Allen, mind already working at this newest problem. "Allen, how would you feel about learning to draw?"

Allen blinked, and his expression turned thoughtful, then uncertain, and then determined. "Okay, Master. But can I finish first?"

Tiedoll chuckled. "Of course."

* * *

After dinner, Tiedoll and Allen retired to their room. It was dark out, so Tiedoll set out a few candles before getting a drawing pad and a pencil from his bag.

There was, fortunately, a desk in the room, with a chair in front of it and another by the window. Allen was seated in front of the desk, half-twisted in the chair to watch Tiedoll.

Tiedoll dragged the second chair so he could sit beside Allen and then gave him the pad and pencil. Allen put the pad on the desk and looked at the pencil like it was going to bite him. Tiedoll stifled a chuckle.

"Why don't you draw something?" he prompted. "Anything. We can do some technical lessons later."

Tiedoll had to admit, he was excited; none of his other apprentices had ever shown any sort of interest in art. Granted, Allen hadn't either, really, but this was close enough.

Allen thought about it for a minute, and then, gingerly, took hold of the pencil with his left hand.

Tiedoll stopped him and gently corrected his grip. "Like this," he said quietly.

Color dusted Allen's cheeks and, without replying, he bent his head to the paper and pressed the lead down.

His grip was harsh; as strong as his left arm was, it was almost a surprise that he wasn't breaking it. As it was, the line he left behind was thick and bold.

Slowly, with a meticulousness that was almost comical, Allen sketched out a messy picture of a dog chasing a ball. It took only a few minutes, and when he was done, he nearly threw the pencil down in disgust, clearly frustrated with himself.

Tiedoll took a moment to examine the finished product. It was crude, making his inexperience obvious, and the bold lines clearly highlighted the lack of motor control in his Innocence. The dog's straight legs stuck out at odd angles and its tongue protruded strangely from its mouth.

Tiedoll caught the look on his apprentice's face just in time to place his hand over the drawing, preventing Allen from crumpling it up.

"Now, don't do that," he scolded lightly, smiling fondly at the boy's displeased frown. "If you get rid of this, how will you see how far you've come later?"

Allen looked down at the drawing, then back up at him, doubt in every line of his face.

"But I'm _really bad,"_ Allen emphasized, frowning.

"You'll get better," Tiedoll promised. "That's why we're doing this, after all." He flipped to the next page. "If you'd prefer, we can do boring things now, starting with line practice."

"Even I can't mess _that_ up," Allen muttered, and picked up the pencil again.

* * *

"Hn… ngh…"

Tiedoll opened his eyes, already reaching for Maker of Eden as he tried to figure out what had woken him. Rustling noises drew his attention to the other bed, and, realizing what it was, he sighed and placed his Innocence down again.

Tangled up in the covers, face twisted as if in terrible pain, Allen shifted and squirmed, moaning quietly.

Tiedoll moved to go and wake him, but it turned out to be unnecessary; a moment later, Allen's eyes shot wide open, gleaming in the dim light. _"Ahh-!"_

The scream was cut off abruptly and Allen sat straight up, panting, wide-eyed and, if Tiedoll knew the boy at all, pale as death. Tiedoll allowed the boy a few minutes to process his surroundings before he called out softly,

"Allen?"

Allen's head jerked to look at him, still clearly frightened and half-caught in the dream. "M-Master?" His voice cracked on the word.

"Are you alright?"

Allen swallowed and scooted back a little, tugging at the covers. After a moment, he nodded, but he wasn't looking at Tiedoll.

Tiedoll sighed, reached for his glasses, and asked Allen,

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Allen's eyes darted to his, uneasy and worried, but, seeing Tiedoll looking at him expectantly, he explained softly, "It was Mana again. He hates me."

Allen reached up to rub at his left eye, looking away from Tiedoll again.

"Did he hate you when you released him?" Tiedoll asked quietly; he knew the answer to this question, but Allen often needed the reminder.

"...No."

"Then why would he hate you now?"

"He's had time to think about it."

Tiedoll smiled wearily. "Allen, love doesn't go away just because you're apart. I promise, he's watching you even now. He's probably very worried, but he certainly doesn't hate you."

Allen was quiet for a few more moments, and he didn't make any move to lay back down. "Do you still think about your nieces?"

"Every day," Tiedoll said without pausing to think. "And every one of my apprentices."

"Oh."

Tiedoll could tell that there was more that was bothering Allen, but he was unlikely to get any more out of him than he had already said. Instead, he told Allen,

"Go back to sleep soon, please. We have a long day tomorrow."

"Okay, Master."

Tiedoll put his glasses aside and laid back down. He listened carefully for the sound of Allen doing the same, but much to his own chagrin, he fell asleep before he heard it.

The next morning, Allen was up before he was. It wasn't hard to work out why.


	9. Ramble

“Sorry, Master.”

“Why do you always say that?”

Allen was listing heavily against Tiedoll, eyes half-shut and wincing in pain. Blood flowed from somewhere on the back of his head, and he was swaying unsteadily as he walked, which was why Tiedoll was supporting him.

“I’m causing trouble,” Allen murmured, breathing a little faster than Tiedoll might have liked.

“You don’t have to apologize for getting hurt, Allen,” Tiedoll chided quietly, glancing around to orient himself. He didn’t have any contacts in the area, which meant they’d be staying at an inn. As he recalled, they’d passed one in pursuit of this latest akuma-

“That could have been me.”

“Hm?” Distracted, Tiedoll looked down at Allen, frowning in concern. Allen was staring back up at him. He had a concussion, Tiedoll realized, dismayed - his pupils were uneven. “What do you mean?”

“That could have been me,” Allen repeated. “If Mana hadn’t found me. It could have…” He coughed, and Tiedoll patted his back absently, pushing him toward the inn. “But I didn’t have anyone I cared about. Until Mana.”

It took Tiedoll a moment, but then he made the connection.

The akuma’s body this time had been a little, dirty boy, clearly homeless and emaciated. With the bits and pieces that Tiedoll had gathered about Allen’s past, it was all too easy to imagine his apprentice in the nameless boy’s place. It was a sobering thought.

“Mana saved me,” Allen rambled. He was stumbling, and Tiedoll thought that his condition was worsening. They’d need to stop soon. “He saved me, like you saved me, and…” He swallowed. “But you’re different. You’re different from Mana.”

Tiedoll stayed quiet, letting Allen talk. He listened carefully - any bit of information Allen shared was welcome, though it was likely that he would never say these things in his right mind, which made him feel a little guilty.

“You’re…” Allen’s breath stuttered, more likely from pain or breathlessness than from grief. “You don’t hurry. And… you never forget my name.”

...That boded ill.

“You never forget my name,” Allen repeated, fingers tightening in Tiedoll’s sleeve. “You don’t have bad days like he did. You never forget where we are, or what we’re doing…” He was panting. Tiedoll found the inn and directed both of them that way. “M-Master?”

“Yes, Allen?”

“I’m really glad you remember my name.”

Tiedoll stayed up for most of the night to wake Allen regularly, changing the bandages on his head twice. In the morning, Allen seemed much better, and a little embarrassed about his behavior the night before. But he didn’t apologize again, so he was learning.

They got breakfast at the inn; Allen smiled and made easy conversation with the matron, meeting her eyes without hesitation, and when she left, Tiedoll and Allen were left to talk.

“Are you feeling better?” Tiedoll asked Allen mildly, eyes lingering on the bandage still wrapped around his head.

Allen shrugged and nodded slowly. “My head still hurts,” he admitted, reaching up to touch said bandage gingerly. “But not as bad as last night.” He glanced up and bit his lip. “I… don’t remember a lot of what I said, but…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Tiedoll interrupted with a gentle smile. Allen smiled back, more hesitantly than he had at the innkeeper but also more genuine, and looked back down, fiddling with the hem of his glove. Tiedoll continued, “We’ll need to up your training schedule a bit, but you recovered very well last night.”

Allen winced but nodded. “Didn’t see it,” he mumbled, referring to the obstacle that had forced him to pause long enough to be knocked into the wall.

“Situational awareness,” Tiedoll said decisively. “I’ll work something out within the next few days.” Allen nodded, and for a few minutes, both of them were silent.

The matron came with their food and fussed over Allen for a bit, and Allen bore it with a patient, kind smile until she finally left again, leaving Tiedoll to chuckle softly.

“You’re doing much better,” Tiedoll noted. Allen shrugged again, starting to scarf down food. Tiedoll had to struggle not to laugh aloud; Allen certainly ate quite a lot. If Tiedoll didn’t receive funding from the Order, he’d be in trouble.

“It doesn’t hurt as much,” Allen told him, almost too soft to hear. “But…”

Tiedoll nodded. “Of course.” He smiled slightly. “I’m glad you’re talking more. I was worried.”

Allen glanced at him thoughtfully, and Tiedoll chuckled again. Yes, it was definitely nice to see how much Allen had opened up to him, even as secretive as the boy still was. And the contrast between how Allen behaved around him and how he behaved around strangers was sharp.

“How do you feel about becoming an exorcist?” Tiedoll asked suddenly, mind moving on. It wasn’t as though Allen had a choice in the matter, of course, but he wanted to know if the boy’s feelings had changed once he’d really begun to fight akuma.

Something about the sharpness of Allen’s next look told him that he was very well aware of how much say in this he had, but he answered anyway. “It’s a good thing,” Allen said cautiously. “I’m glad I can help.”

Tiedoll stilled, and his eyes lingered on Allen again. “The living or the dead?”

Allen didn’t answer. After a moment, Tiedoll looked away again as well.

“I’m glad I can help as well,” Tiedoll told Allen, and he meant it. He really meant it.


	10. Bad Intentions

Preparing to leave yet another town, the master-and-apprentice pair waved the innkeeper goodbye, and she cheerfully waved back, wishing them luck on their journey.

When they were well down the road, Tiedoll started a conversation, knowing they had quite some ways to go and while Allen was not easily bored, he always liked the talking. "You seemed to like Mrs. Quinn well enough," he commented, referring to the innkeeper they'd just left behind.

Allen shrugged. "She was nice." At Tiedoll's patient look, he flushed slightly at being caught out and admitted, "I still don't really like talking to strangers, I guess." He shot Tiedoll a small smile. "But it's easier than it used to be. And they always seem to appreciate it."

Allen was a very complicated person. "They think you're cute."

Allen turned bright pink. "Master!"

"I happen to agree." Tiedoll did so love to tease his apprentices.

_"Master!"_

Tiedoll chuckled.

They continued like that as they started to head out of town; the teasing melted into amiable, meaningless chatter, and then, when they'd nearly left, they were interrupted.

"Hey, faggots!"

Tiedoll ignored the voice, but Allen turned his head toward it, frowning. With a small grimace (he would have to remind Allen that giving these people his attention only encouraged them) he also turned his eyes on the man.

The voice's source was a young, sturdily-built blond man, with an arrogant walk and a sneer. Tiedoll knew the type. And so, he recalled, did Allen.

That last thought made him freeze, something he rarely did anymore. Unbidden, a memory sprang into his mind.

_"Hey, old man, how much for the kid?"_

_The implications behind that statement in that voice were far from lost on Tiedoll, and he turned on the man with uncharacteristic anger in his eyes and a lashing ready on his tongue. Allen, though, was miles ahead of him._

_"More than your sore ass can afford!" Allen snapped out, flaring up in a way Tiedoll knew he hated to do._

_The man just raised an eyebrow, unimpressed, and let his smirk widen. "And feisty, too. Bet I could-"_

_"He is not for sale," Tiedoll gritted out, hand clenching around his Innocence- when had he taken it out? Not that he wasn't tempted to use it._

_"No? Then maybe I'll just take him off your hands."_

_Allen stepped forward, eyes ablaze and as defensive as Tiedoll had ever seen him. "Touch me and I'll take your hands off with a rusty bear trap," he snarled. "How's that for feisty, you nancy bastard sonuvabitch?"_

_Dread overtook Tiedoll's heart just as the man asked warningly, "What did you just call me, you little demon spawn?"_

_And then Allen lost it._

Tiedoll had seen hints of Allen's real personality underneath the clown mask, but that had been the first, and so far the only, time he had seen the mask shatter altogether. And it had been ugly.

Allen had undeniably come off worse in that encounter, taking a blow that nearly broke his jaw, but both parties had come away injured before Tiedoll managed to separate them. (And, later, tie the offensive man upside down in a tree where he would hopefully never be found - he didn't take threats to his apprentices lightly.)

Even with Allen's response having been completely justified, though, this apparent parallel was giving Tiedoll a very small, very quiet heart attack, fearing a repeat.

To his surprise and genuine relief, there was no repeat.

Actually, Allen conducted himself beautifully. He walked right up to the man and gave him a sad, confused look while Tiedoll was distracted, asked why he was being mean, etc, etc, and by the time Tiedoll was fully back to himself, the man was apologizing and backing away.

Sometimes Tiedoll was worried for his apprentice's future, and then he remembered it didn't matter anyway and this was therefore probably a good skill to have.

When the man was gone, Allen turned to look at Tiedoll and gave him a small grin and a wink, clearly proud of himself. Tiedoll had to chuckle, and they kept going.

"You did very well with that," Tiedoll told him, ruffling his hair. Allen laughed, head tilting slightly into the touch.

"That one was a softie," he said dismissively, but his pride was still clear in the slight flush of his cheeks and the brightness of his eyes. "His friends do this all the time, but he doesn't actually care about it."

"Still, thank you for talking to him instead of confronting him," Tiedoll insisted, and Allen's blush deepened. He shrugged.

"You asked me too," he muttered, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"So I did," Tiedoll agreed, smiling. Both of them fell silent, finally managing to leave the town, and Tiedoll lost himself in thought again, while Allen walked along contently, gaze on the ground and bag slung over his shoulder.

Allen had been much better, lately. Better with people, at meeting their eyes, at accepting their touch (wanted or unwanted), at speaking to them politely and actually listening, and-

 _Yes,_ Tiedoll thought, satisfied. _Yes, I think Allen is ready to face Headquarters now._


	11. Pathway

Allen was both nervous and excited. Mostly nervous.

When Tiedoll had asked him if he wanted to go to Headquarters now, he had immediately accepted, because he wanted to know what the organization his master worked for was like. The weeks it took to travel back to England, Tiedoll spent telling Allen about the Order.

He neglected to mention that the giant tower housing the Order was atop an ominous cliff, which was possibly one of the creepiest things Allen had _ever_ seen.

Tiedoll chuckled, probably at Allen's expression, and took him by the elbow to lead him off in a different direction. "There's an path over this way," he explained without being asked, keeping his eyes on Allen's and a small smile on his face. "We'll use that to get up."

Allen nodded in acknowledgement and kept looking around.

The path wound a little, turning randomly. A spiked fence warned them off each side, which looked to be for the best, since it dropped off on either side.

At the top, there was a face in the wall, which Master hadn't mentioned. Allen frowned at him and he chuckled, but spoke to the face first.

"Good afternoon, Gatekeeper," Tiedoll said cheerfully, looking unerringly into the face's eyes. "I've returned with a new apprentice, as promised. May I come in?"

The Gatekeeper squinted at him, then at Allen, then at him again. "Are you _sure_ he's human?" he asked suspiciously.

"Very sure," Tiedoll assured him, more amused than Allen felt was warranted by the question.

"Fine," the Gatekeeper huffed petulantly. "Open!"

The giant doors opened, and Tiedoll nodded to the Gatekeeper in gratitude before leading Allen in. On the other side, they were met with a man in a lab coat and a girl not much older than Allen, both looking interested.

Allen gave them both a small smile and waved, but decided to wait for Tiedoll to speak first.

"Good afternoon, Komui, Lenalee," Tiedoll greeted, inclining his head slightly with his usual kind smile. "It's good to see you well."

"It's good to see you too, General," the older, probably Komui, returned cheerfully, and then he looked down at Allen, who clasped his hands behind his back to hide his left arm from sight, even though it was already covered up. "And who is this?"

"My name is Allen, sir," Allen greeted carefully, keeping his silver eyes on the tall man. "It's very nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too, Allen," Komui chuckled, smiling at him. "My name is Komui Lee; I'm the Chief of the Black Order. This is my little sister, Lenalee; she's an exorcist as well."

Allen gave him another smile and looked at Lenalee, who hopped forward to give him a shy smile and hold out her hand. "Hi, Allen. Welcome to the Black Order."

Hesitantly, he reached out and shook her hand (and then wondered why he could feel Komui glaring at him) and returned, "Thank you. I'm glad to be here."

There was a brief silence in which Allen could hear Tiedoll talking quietly to Komui, but he kept his attention on the girl across from him, gaze thoughtful. She stared back expectantly, mirroring his position with wide, seemingly guileless violet eyes.

"How old are you?" he asked abruptly, curious.

"Eleven," she said instantly, amusement appearing in her eyes. "But I've been here for five years now. What about you?"

"I'm ten," he answered, relaxing slightly at her continued nonaggression. "Master found me… five or six months ago, now. Are there a lot of people our age here?" That would be nice, if they were all like Lenalee. Then he could have friends.

He was sure Master would be happy about that, at least.

"Not really," Lenalee said, shaking her head. "There's me, and then there's Kanda and Daisya, and now there's you, but everyone else is at least twenty, they're _old."_ She wrinkled her nose playfully, and he laughed. She grinned at him and asked, "What's your weapon?"

He instantly shifted backwards a little, tugging his left arm a little further behind him, even though he knew, intellectually, that even if this girl did care, Tiedoll wouldn't let anything happen. "My left arm. What's yours?"

Her eyes gleamed concerned violet at him, but she answered anyway, scuffing at the floor. "My boots." Abruptly, she whirled, turning to her brother. "Brother! When are you taking Allen to see Hevlaska?"

Distracted, Komui turned and smiled down at his little sister fondly. "In a minute, Lenalee. General Tiedoll was just telling me some of the interesting things he and his apprentice got up to." His eyes didn't flick up to Allen like they might have, but Allen felt wary anyway.

Lenalee, though, just nodded seriously and turned back to Allen, smiling brightly. "Don't worry about Hevlaska," she assured him. He hadn't been before, but he certainly was now. "She's actually very nice, she just looks scary."

"Uh-huh," Allen mumbled doubtfully, and she giggled at him.

"You don't need to worry about anything here, it's as safe as we can make it," Lenalee continued, looking more and more pleased by the minute. "General Tiedoll will probably introduce you to Kanda and Daisya, but when you're done with that, come see me, okay? I can show you around."

That made Allen nervous, but Tiedoll was always asking him to be more confident around people, so he nodded, smiling. "Okay. Thank you."

She beamed at him. At that moment, Komui and Tiedoll seemed to finish up their conversation, and Tiedoll broke away to return to him.

The general crouched slightly so they were more level and smiled at him reassuringly, which made Allen instantly suspicious.

"Chief Komui will take you from here," Tiedoll told him, proving that Allen's suspicions were fully justified. "He'll take you to see Hevlaska in the basement; I'll meet with you when you're done."

Allen gave him a faintly baleful look that made Tiedoll smile sheepishly, but he nodded anyway.

"Meanwhile…" Tiedoll straightened up and gave Lenalee a slightly more grandfatherly smile than he usually gave Allen. "Miss Lee, it's been a while since I've seen you. How have you been?"

Lenalee gave Tiedoll a bright smile, waved to Allen, and then bounced to the general's side. Komui gave Allen a small smile of his own, which Allen returned with a slightly strained one, and said,

"Let's be on our way then, shall we?"


	12. Feelers

Allen stuck level with Komui, keeping his eyes on the ground so he could focus on listening to the murmurs around him.

"What's with the kid?"

 _"Another_ one?"

"Does Innocence have a thing for kids or something?"

"Never going to win like this…"

"What's with his hair?"

"And how do you get a scar like _that?"_

Komui 'hm'ed above him. "They do like their chatter, don't they?" he asked Allen conversationally, a hint of humor in his voice, and Allen shrugged and shot him a small, rueful smile, to which he grinned cheerfully back. "Well, let's not keep Hevlaska waiting!"

He sped up a little, and Allen became so preoccupied with keeping up that he was no longer paying attention. As a result, he was panting a little when they reached the elevator, but that didn't stop him from going to the edge and pulling himself up enough that his legs dangled and he tried to look down to see how deep it went.

Komui laughed lightly and gently pulled him down by the back of his shirt, making him yelp and spin around. Seeing Komui's amused expression, he blushed slightly.

"Quite a large building, isn't it?" Komui asked humorously, a touch of understanding in his eyes. Allen nodded cautiously.

"I've never been in a building this big before," he admitted, glancing up this time - it was probably, from here, further to the ceiling than to the lowest floor, if Allen was any judge. What building needed so many floors?

Well. The Order headquarters, obviously.

The elevator, which, for all its futuristic technology, seemed almost old, jolted into action, moving them to a lower floor. Allen stumbled but caught himself and stole another glance at Komui, who had done the same and gave him a grin and a wink, which made Allen smile back before he even realized it.

When the elevator came to a shuddering halt again, Komui reached forward and touched Allen's shoulder, but didn't stop him from shying away from the touch. Instead, he gestured broadly to a dramatically lit group of cloaked strangers, staring equally dramatically over them. Allen shivered.

"These, Allen, are the Great Generals. Our bosses, you could say." Komui grinned again at Allen's uncertain look. "We're down here so you can demonstrate your power for them."

Allen's uncertain look transformed into a frown, and he crossed his arms defiantly. "I don't have to prove my worth to _anybody,"_ he muttered mulishly.

Komui was visibly startled for a moment, and then he laughed again. "I like your way of thinking, Allen! Unfortunately, I'm afraid you still have to get tested."

Allen frowned again, but any open objection he might have made was disrupted when he felt something creeping up behind him and spun around again, bristling defensively.

_Tentacles._

The white, reaching tentacles were enough to catch him off-guard, stunning him long enough for them to twist around his arms and lift him into the air.

At least half on instinct, Allen started to struggle and squirm, kicking at the tentacles until they wrapped around his legs and stilled them as well.

"K-Komui!" he called, voice cracking with something like fear and something like anger.

He craned his neck to look over his shoulder, and the tentacles moved again to spread his left arm apart from his body. His glove was removed and handed gently to Komui, who tucked it into a pocket, looking perfectly unbothered.

Suddenly, Lenalee's face, earnest and eager, flashed into his mind.

_"Don't worry about Hevlaska. She's actually very nice, she just looks scary."_

Breathing a little too fast, he looked at the monst- being's face and asked, "Hevlaska?"

"Yes…" she - with a voice like that, she had to be a she, confirmed, sounding slightly surprised but not displeased. "That is… my name. I wish… to test… your Innocence."

He took a deep breath and forced himself to still, and she smiled at him.

"Thank… you."

He winced in discomfort at the uncomfortable feeling that was Hevlaska probing his left arm, and kept his eyes carefully averted from Komui, fixed instead upon the Great Generals, who provided no visible reaction.

"Well, Hevlaska? How does he fare?"

Komui's question prompted a slight furthering of the uncomfortable probing, and Allen shut his eyes, gritting his teeth against it. It almost hurt, but not quite. Still, he wanted it to be over.

"Relax," Hevlaska murmured, and leaned down to press her forehead to his. He didn't react but instead held his breath, and in front of him, melodious and in a voice that resonated through the whole room without being deafening, she denoted, "3%... 13%... 35%... 38%... 47%... 54%... 67%." She sighed, and then, gently, set him back onto the elevator. "Your current maximum synchronization rate appears to be 67%. Thank you for bearing with me, Allen Walker."

Allen tipped his head back, sighed, and nodded reluctantly. In the absence of his left glove, he tucked his left hand into a pocket, out of sight.

Hevlaska seemed to study him for a long moment, and when she finally spoke again, it was with a strange resonation even greater than that of her normal tones. "Allen Walker… Your Innocence will someday create a great 'Destroyer of Time' in the dark future… That is what I felt… That is my power."

Allen blinked in surprise, and then his lips curled into a slightly bitter smile.

A destroyer? Well, that should come as no surprise to anyone.

It was gone as soon as Komui clapped his hands, startling Allen into moving his attention from the giant tentacle woman and onto Komui, who was smiling cheerfully. "Well, that sounds very exciting! I've never known Hevlaska to be wrong, so I'm sure we can expect great things from you, Allen."

Allen glanced at Komui and then away again, pacing toward the middle of the elevator. Komui frowned at him for a moment, and then a hand appeared in Allen's range of vision. He followed it up to Komui, smiling at him warmly.

"I just realized, I haven't said it yet," Komui explained, as Allen hesitantly reached up and grasped his hand in a tentative shake. "But welcome to the Black Order, Allen."

Allen gave him a hesitant smile back. "Thank you."

* * *

A few minutes more found them both back in the endless hallways, allegedly on the right floor, though Allen couldn't imagine how Komui could possibly remember them all.

Allen was going to get so lost, so many times. He could see it already.

"Normally, the next step would be to examine your Innocence," Komui was telling Allen cheerfully. He'd given Allen his glove back, so Allen had his hand back out of his pocket, safely covered. "However, General Tiedoll asked that he be present for the procedure, so we'll have to delay it by a few hours, I'm sorry to say."

Allen shrugged. "I wouldn't have let you anyway," he said offhandedly, watching Komui's reaction out of the corner of his eye.

The older male didn't let anything on, though, only letting out a short laugh. "That explains it!" he said cheerily. "General Tiedoll should be waiting in the cafeteria, by the way. I'll take you and introduce you to Jerry, but then I'm afraid I must be off, alright?"

"Alright," Allen agreed with a small smile.


	13. Food for Thought

"Ohh, cutie!"

Komui chuckled as Allen's eyes widened slightly, an embarrassed blush overtaking his face. The man, apparently the head cook, leaned out of the window, smiling at Allen.

"What's your name, sweetie?" the man continued, smiling charmingly.

"Allen, sir," Allen said politely, with the sweetest smile he could manage. "I'm General Tiedoll's new apprentice."

The man positively beamed.

"And so polite, too! I'm Jerry. When you're hungry, you come to me, alright, sweetheart?"

Allen decided that he liked Jerry.

"Okay," Allen agreed, smile turning a little warmer. Jerry grinned at him.

"Now, what would you like? I'll make anything you want!"

Allen's eyes widened slightly, and he glanced quickly at Komui for confirmation. Komui nodded with a small smile of his own, and Allen glanced back at Jerry furtively.

For years, food had been hard to come by. Even with Mana, he and the older man had had to work for it. It had been different with Tiedoll, sort of; Allen knew his money came from his work for the Order, and it was a significantly better source of revenue than street entertainment.

Still, Allen wasn't used to be given all the food he wanted.

"Can I have… beef stew?" he asked tentatively. Jerry nodded encouragingly and Allen perked up a little, deciding to test his luck. "And… meat pie?" Nod. "Chicken? Potato salad?" Nod, nod. Allen's smile widened slightly, eyes started to gleam happily. Jerry still looked serious and intent, if a little confused by now. "A scone? And fries?" Jerry looked startled and Allen winced a little, resisting the urge to take a step back. Maybe he had pressed a little too hard. "Please?"

Komui gave Allen a kind smile and added to Jerry, "In proportions for a parasite type, please, Jerry."

Comprehension flashed across Jerry's face and he beamed at Allen. "Of course, dear! Just you wait a tick!"

Allen beamed back, genuinely pleased. "Thank you!"

A touch on his shoulder made Allen jolt and look inquisitively at Komui, subtly moving away from his hand. Komui smiled at him cheerily.

"General Tiedoll is right over there-" Komui indicated Tiedoll, seated next to a boy slightly older than Allen and a man who must've been twice Allen's age. "So I'll leave you here, alright, Allen?"

Allen nodded slowly, flashing Komui a small smile. "Okay, Komui. Thank you."

Komui grinned at him, and then took off at a brisk walk, humming to himself. Allen decided that Komui was strange.

"You go ahead and wait with your master, honey bun," Jerry added, just before he ducked back in. "I'll call you over when it's all ready, alright?"

Allen relentlessly quashed any worries that might have brought up - Tiedoll always got a sad glimmer in his eyes when Allen got suspicious, and anyway, he may not know Jerry yet, but he trusted Tiedoll - and smiled. "Alright!" he agreed.

When Tiedoll caught sight of Allen heading over, he positively beamed at the boy and waved him closer. Allen smiled, cautiously taking in the two sitting with his master.

The young man was a kind-looking, dark-skinned man with milky eyes - Marie, Allen supposed. He gave Allen a nod and a warm smile as he approached, and Allen returned it with a soft, "Hello."

The other one, a boy about fourteen years old at Allen's best guess, was most likely Daisya. He wore a hood on his uniform, which was a bit of a relief to Allen - he'd like to do the same, given the choice. He had purple-painted teardrops under his eyes, but there was nothing sad about the grin he gave Allen.

"Allen!" Tiedoll greeted warmly, gesturing for Allen to sit down on his left - Marie was sitting on his right, and Daisya across from him. "This is Daisya, and this is Marie; I've told you about them."

"Hi," Allen greeted shyly, hunching down a little in sudden worry. What if they didn't like him? The way Tiedoll talked about them, they surely meant much more to him than Allen did. Would Tiedoll leave him if they didn't get along?

"Hey!" Daisya returned cheerfully, sticking his hand out. "I'm Daisya." He huffed at Tiedoll, apparently miffed at not being allowed to introduce himself. "So you're the newbie, huh? How's Master been? Intolerable?"

Allen giggled softly. _So far, so good._ "He's been very kind."

Daisya made a dismissive noise in the back of his throat. "Of course he has! He's _Master._ I'm surprised he hasn't smothered you yet."

Both Marie and Tiedoll laughed, and Daisya grinned at them, clearly self-satisfied. Allen laughed too, albeit much softer.

Marie leaned over a little to smile at Allen. "Welcome to the Order, Allen. I wish you luck."

Allen smiled at him, squirming in place a little. "Thank you."

Tiedoll's other apprentices were nicer than he'd expected.

"Yuu's still training, I'm afraid," Tiedoll put in, smiling proudly - Allen guessed that he was glad that they all got along. "But he'll be along in a few minutes."

Allen nodded in acceptance of this, though from what he'd heard of Kanda, he could definitely live without meeting him.

They talked for a few more minutes, getting to know each other, and then Jerry called out Allen's name, chirpy and proud.

Allen got up and scurried over, thanked Jerry profusely, and then returned with his cart of food, buzzing with happiness.

When he returned, a grumpy-looking boy with long hair was sitting a foot away from Daisya.

This, Allen figured, was Kanda.

Kanda looked up at him, looking him up and down, and snorted derisively. "Scrawny beansprout," he said derisively.

Allen decided that he did not like Kanda.


	14. Contrasting Viewpoints

Marie hid a smile.

Daisya stared in undisguised fascination.

Kanda and Allen stared at each other.

For a minute, Tiedoll looked back and forth between them, looking mildly dismayed. "Oh, dear," he murmured. And then, more sternly, "Yuu, this is my new apprentice, Allen. Treat him _nicely,_ please."

Kanda's snort clearly revealed what he thought of that request, but he didn't object as Allen sat down. Allen shot his master a wary look, but Tiedoll just smiled at him. Master did not always have the best judgement when it came to people, Allen had learned.

"Allen, this is Yuu," Tiedoll continued, smiling uncomfortably. "I've told you about him, of course."

Allen nodded shortly. Yes, he had, and Allen hadn't even been a big fan of Kanda _before_ he'd met him, really. To Kanda, he said, experimentally, "You look like a girl."

Tiedoll covered his face in despair. _Sorry, Master._

Kanda bristled and bared his teeth at Allen. "You look like an old man!"

Allen smiled. So Kanda was _exactly_ that kind of person. "I thought I looked like a beansprout?"

"You do!" Kanda snapped. _"And_ you look like you're asking for a fist to the face!"

 _Do I? That explains a lot._ "And I suppose you're the one to give it to me."

"You bet your scrawny beansprout ass!" Kanda started to stand up and Allen tensed, but Tiedoll just gave a put upon sigh and tugged Kanda down by his arm - Allen noted with interest that Tiedoll hadn't used nearly the force he should have, which meant Kanda had gone down willingly.

"Yuu, what have I told you about hitting my other apprentices?" Tiedoll asked sternly.

"Do I look like I give a fuck?" Kanda muttered, but he didn't actually try again. Tiedoll sighed and looked at Allen, who winced slightly at his expression.

"Allen, _please_ do not bait him." Allen shrugged and started to eat, avoiding Tiedoll's gaze. "I am not angry with you, but I would like for you to get along with my other apprentices."

Allen sighed. Well, he might dislike Kanda on a personal level, but… "Okay." Some things weren't really worth it, anyway.

Daisya broke his silence by reaching over to clap Allen on the shoulder with a grin. "That was great!" he told him, in direct contrast to Tiedoll's reaction. "We need more people to challenge Kanda around here, he needs it."

Allen smiled despite Tiedoll's look of despair. "Glad I can be of help," he said, with maybe a little too much cheer in his voice.

Marie shook his head, but he, too, was smiling. "If you two are going to do that often, things are about to get very interesting," he observed, amused.

"I'll leave him alone if he leaves me alone," Allen told him. It was true, anyway.

Daisya snorted. "Kanda doesn't leave anyone alone," he claimed.

Allen's smile flickered and he shrugged. "Then I guess we won't get along," he said unconcernedly, glancing at Tiedoll to see his reaction. To Allen's relief, he looked long-suffering, but not surprised or particularly annoyed. Of course, he never looked annoyed.

"Allen, when you're done, I've promised Komui to let him examine your Innocence," Tiedoll told him instead of addressing the issue. "I'll go with you, of course."

Allen glanced up at him and nodded. "Komui told me."

"Oh!" Daisya leaned forward and grinned, eyes sparkling with interest. Marie also looked to be paying more attention, and even Kanda glanced up. "Right, your Innocence! What is it? Mine's this thing here." He grinned and swatted the bell at the back of his hood - Charity Bell, Allen supposed.

Allen's hand twitched slightly, but then he smiled. "It's my left arm," he replied, not making any move to show them. Exorcists or not, other apprentices of Tiedoll's or not, he wasn't showing anyone he didn't have to.

"Cool!" Daisya decided, bobbing his head enthusiastically. "I haven't met a parasite before. Well, besides Nyne, but she hardly counts."

Allen shot Tiedoll a questioning glance.

"General Nyne," Tiedoll explained with a kind smile. "She's somewhere in the Andes at the moment, I believe. Her Innocence is a parasitic beast, a monkey called Lau Jimin."

Allen nodded thoughtfully and finished off his food with a small smile. It was very good; he decided he liked Jerry, if he was going to be this nice every time.

Then he looked up at Tiedoll expectantly, and Tiedoll nodded at him and started to stand.

"Allen and I must check in with Komui now," he informed his other apprentices with another smile, "but I'll be by to check on all of you later, of course." Each of them nodded. "Oh, and Allen will be around as well, of course - please help him if he has trouble."

Daisya grinned. "Hey, anyone who'll stand up to Kanda is fine by me!"

Marie chuckled. "You can count on me, Master."

Kanda grunted. That was more or less what Allen had expected.

Tiedoll nodded at all of them and then turned away, starting to lead Allen out of the cafeteria.

"You seemed to get along with them quite well," he noted with a smile.

Allen shrugged, casting his eyes to the ground. "They were very nice," he offered. Tiedoll gave him a disappointed look, and he returned it with a wry smile and corrected, "Marie seems nice. And Daisya is very friendly."

"Yuu just needs time to get used to you," Tiedoll assured him, but he didn't sound too convinced, and Allen gave him a look that told him so. Tiedoll chuckled sheepishly. "Well, I'm sure both of you will adjust."

Allen shrugged.

Sometimes his master didn't seem to be living on the same planet as the rest of them.


	15. Surface Scrutiny

The lab Tiedoll led Allen to was surprisingly busy; people bustled back and forth, some with papers in their hands, some with vials, or books, or mugs. Other people lay around on tables, either gazing blankly at books or sleeping. A few appeared to be working.

"Master?" Allen questioned, voice heightening a little in a way that showed too much of how this environment was affecting him.

Tiedoll paused to look over his shoulder and give Allen a comforting smile. "Not to worry, Allen. Everyone here is perfectly friendly."

Allen didn't really believe him.

Still, he nodded and continued forward, letting his gaze fall to the ground. He was led, ultimately, to an examination table surrounded by monitors, which Tiedoll indicated that Allen should sit on.

Allen reluctantly pulled himself onto the table and took the moment to look around some more.

No one was paying them any attention, but- Oh, there was Komui, giving him a distracted smile as Allen caught his eye.

"Reever!" Komui called, bustling over. "Johnny!"

Two more men looked up and followed Komui over, and Allen's frown deepened. He didn't want this many people around for this. He glanced at Tiedoll, knowing that the man would be able to discern his feelings from his expression.

Sure enough, Tiedoll smiled sympathetically. "I know, I know, Allen. Please, bear with it. You'll be fine."

Allen swallowed and nodded. Of course he would be; he always was. The question was whether or not it would hurt first.

"General!" Komui greeted as he reached them, flanked by a man with spiky hair and another with thick glasses. "Allen! Good to see you so soon!"

Allen flashed him a small, forced smile and felt the weight of the glasses-man's concerned gaze on him, which made him drop his own to the floor again, feet swinging above the ground.

"Allen." Allen glanced up reluctantly, meeting Komui's kind smile. "This is Reever-" Spiky-haired man. "And Johnny." Glasses-man. "Johnny's here to measure you for your uniform, and Reever's the leader of the Science Section." Komui gave him a wide, beaming grin that made Allen deeply suspicious, but after a moment, he looked first to Reever, and then Johnny, giving each of them a small, friendly smile.

"Hello, Reever," Allen greeted shyly. "Hello, Johnny."

Johnny gave him a bright smile of his own and stuck a hand out. "Hey, Allen. Are you the new exorcist?"

Allen nodded, shook his hand, and wondered what those looks in their eyes meant. Master would know.

"Good to meet you," Reever told him, holding out his own hand for Allen to shake. Allen did and he withdrew it, sticking it in his pocket thoughtfully. "Are you a parasite or an equipment user?"

"Parasite," Allen replied softly. He glanced at Tiedoll, who gave him an encouraging smile.

"And not a bad one at that!" Komui sang, coming over with an armful of wires. Allen scooted away from them before he'd even thought about it and Komui chided, "Now, now, none of that! Let's see it."

"I'll be right here," Tiedoll promised Allen even before he could look at him. Allen bit his lip, nodded, and reached to pull off his glove, revealing the ugly crimson hand. He didn't dare look up now; he didn't want to see the expressions they wore. Komui wouldn't have been able to get more than a glimpse earlier, but now, when it was in full view-

"Your jacket too, please," came Komui's voice, surprisingly soft. Allen swallowed and shed that too, and that was the whole of his arm exposed, in all its grotesque, wrinkled horror.

Gentle hands grasped his wrist and he couldn't hold back his flinch, eyes darting up to meet Komui's eyes, and-

There was no horror. No disgust. No revulsion. Just a brow furrowed in concentration while one of his hands held Allen's wrist and the other pressed some kind of sticky pad periodically up his arm in apparently random places.

Reever cleared his throat, sounding strangely awkward, and Allen chanced a glance at him, too. He looked uncomfortable, but it cleared when he met Allen's eyes, and the man gave him a small, awkward grin.

"It was nice to meet you, Allen, but I gotta get back to work," Reever told him, and Allen nodded in reply. Reever gave him a slightly more sincere grin and added, "Welcome to the Black Order."

Allen's smile both widened and softened in response, and it was a few moments before he realized that he was still watching Reever's retreating back. Tiedoll squeezed his shoulder, and Allen look up to see him offering a sincere smile of his own.

"You'll always be welcome here," Tiedoll reminded him. Allen didn't reply, just staring at him.

Because before he hadn't believed him, but…

Komui finished attaching the sticky pads to his arm and powered up a monitor, which started to display readings Allen didn't recognize.

"Quite a strange Innocence you have here!" was all he apparently had to say, but then he started to scribble down notes, so Allen assumed that he, at least, understood the gibberish.

"Allen," Johnny called, and Allen, feeling a little overwhelmed by the attention, turned to look at him. Johnny grinned at him and started to measure him with a tape measure he'd presumably pulled out of nowhere, and then continued, apparently oblivious to Allen's squirming, "All the exorcist uniforms are custom-made for the exorcist; I make them myself, you see, and sometimes it's a pretty interesting job, too-" He waved a hand dismissively. "Anyway, you fight hand-to-hand, right? Or does your arm do something?"

"Hand-to-hand," Allen replied softly.

"It's rather physically strenuous," Tiedoll put in for him, smiling kindly at Johnny. "He'll need something that won't tear and won't be too hot."

Johnny smiled. "Got it," he said cheerfully. "Is there something in particular you want, Allen? For me to add in, I mean."

Allen bit his lip and glanced at Tiedoll, who studied him for a moment, frowning, before realization seemed to dawn in his eyes. He looked disappointed, but he nodded, and Allen relaxed.

"Can you add a hood and gloves?" he requested tentatively, focusing his gaze on Johnny. Johnny looked briefly startled, but then flickered to both his hair and his arm, and comprehension echoing Tiedoll's entered his expression.

"Of course," Johnny assured him earnestly.

Allen smiled. "Thank you."

Johnny grinned at him. "Anytime."


	16. Show-up

When Komui had apparently gathered all of the data he'd wanted, he let Allen put his jacket and gloves back on (much to the white-haired boy's relief) and then Allen looked up at Tiedoll expectantly, knowing that Tiedoll would probably have something in mind.

Sure enough, Tiedoll smiled at him, nodding to Komui as they started toward the lab's exit. "Allen, I believe you promised a little lady you'd keep her company?"

"Huh?" Allen tilted his head, frowning, and then realized. Lenalee. She'd promised to show him around. "Oh. Yes."

Tiedoll seemed to find this funny. Tiedoll was very strange.

When Tiedoll got over whatever he found so amusing, he smiled again and continued, "We'll resume training tomorrow, of course, but feel free to take your time and get to know your way around. I'd rather you not get lost while you're here." Allen wrinkled his nose at him. Tiedoll laughed. "Yes, yes, I know, but please try."

Allen sighed and nodded. "Of course, Master."

"You'll have a room not far from mine," Tiedoll went on, seeming to half lose himself in thought as he mulled over what Allen needed to know. "I'll show you the way after dinner, and then perhaps tomorrow we can see which exorcists are currently on base and I can introduce you, or else young Lenalee can." Allen 'mm'ed in agreement. "Johnny will, of course, let you know when he is finished, which should be - ah! Daisya!"

Allen looked up to see Daisya some ways down the hall, and he tilted his head. The older boy grinned and waved once, breaking into a jog to meet them, and then turning so he was striding the same way.

"Hey, squirt," he greeted cheerfully. "I was wondering where you went!"

Allen wrinkled his nose at him. "My _name_ is _Allen."_

"Right, right." Daisya waved his hand dismissively. "That might take me a few tries to remember, I'm not real good with names. Anyway! Where're you going, _Allen?"_ He emphasized the name with a smirk, and Allen frowned up at him, trying to decide whether or not he was being made fun of.

"We're looking for Lenalee," Tiedoll provided when Allen didn't answer, smiling fondly at Daisya. "Do you happen to know where she might be?"

"Uh-mm," Daisya mused, threading his fingers behind his head and smirking up at Tiedoll like it was the most natural thing in the world. "I think so. You know that training room she likes, the one with the real high ceiling? There."

Tiedoll 'hm'ed, nodding thoughtfully. He gave Daisya a small smile. "Alright. Thank you, Daisya."

Daisya grinned at him, and Allen felt wistful for a minute before he stomped it down. "No problem, old man. Say, what d'you want with Lenalee, anyway?"

"She promised Allen she'd show him around," Tiedoll explained, and when Daisya looked at him, raising an eyebrow, Allen nodded. Daisya grinned.

"She must've jumped on the chance to get to know someone her own size, huh?" he laughed.

Allen eyed him for a moment, and when it became clear Daisya was waiting for a response, he nodded. "She was really pleased."

"Course she was!" Daisya agreed cheerfully. And then, to Tiedoll, "Hey, old man, want to see some of the new tricks I've been working on? I bet you'll be so surprised your glasses'll fall off!"

Tiedoll chuckled, and Allen turned his head to look up at him, slightly startled. There was a slightly different tone to it from usual - one Allen recognized, but had never been able to identify. "Of course. We can go as soon as Allen is safe with Lenalee."

Daisya made a pleased noise. "Gotcha, old man. Let's find your lady friend, squirt."

"My _name_ is _Allen!"_

"Right, right."

* * *

Lenalee was indeed in a training room with a high ceiling, and Allen paused to watch her soar through the air - not like a songbird, which was too fragile, or like a thrown rock, which was too clumsy, but something in between.

She was dodging between the pillars, possibly trying to urge herself to go faster and faster through the built-in obstacle course, or maybe just passing time. Regardless, she noticed them soon enough and turned on her airborne heel, doing a complete one-eighty and boomeranging toward them.

Finally, she landed in front of them with a soft clatter of her boots, and deactivated them in a flash of light. That done, she smiled at them brightly. "All done?" she asked.

"All done," Tiedoll confirmed with a small smile, and Allen backed it up with a nod.

"Great!" She beamed and, in a sweep of her short-skirted uniform, appeared by Allen's side, tilting her head at Tiedoll again. "Did you want something, General?"

"Nothing at all, merely the use of the training room," Tiedoll assured her, chuckling. "Have fun."

Allen gave him a faintly alarmed look, but when Tiedoll smiled at him and then turned to follow an impatient Daisya further into the room, he resigned himself and looked back to Lenalee.

In the past few months, Allen hadn't often been without Master, but that time wasn't near enough to forget how to operate on his own. He gave Lenalee a small smile. "Where are we going first?"

She smiled at him. "How about the lounge?"

"Okay," he agreed easily. Both of them started walking toward the door and then down the hall, and he glanced back, knowing that as soon as they'd turned a corner, he'd forget where he was. "Um… How well do you know your way around?"

She laughed at him. He flushed a little, but her smile was easy and unbothered as she assured him, "Very well. What, do you get lost easily?"

He nodded sheepishly - his complete lack of direction-sense had always been one of the things that frustrated him most. "Very."

Lenalee laughed again. "Don't worry, you won't get lost as long you're with me. I could probably navigate this place blindfolded."

Allen asked, "And what if I'm not?"

Lenalee shrugged. "It shouldn't be too hard to find someone who can help you - Headquarters is very busy, you see." He'd noticed. "And they have to help you, of course, because you're an exorcist."

Allen nodded hesitantly, but wasn't as sure as she seemed to be; Allen had never been anything like a high-priority person, and he doubted that an Innocence would change that. "Alright."

Lenalee smiled at him, and then turned her head to a door, reached, and pulled it open. "This is the lounge," she explained to him; there were many people inside, he noticed, and only a few of them had looked up, though those few looked startled. "Lots of people hang out here when they don't have anything to do, which isn't very often."

"I see," Allen acknowledged thoughtfully, while both of them slipped in and Lenalee let the door close behind them. Slowly, the attention slid away from them again, but they kept talking. "Do you spend a lot of time in here?"

She shook her head. "But some of the exorcists do."

The room had numerous striped couches, a smattering of lit candles, and a few tall, arching windows. Allen found it strange and intimidating.

"Where now?" he asked Lenalee.

"How about the library?"

That sounded fine to Allen, and they took off again.

He had a feeling this wasn't going to be very organized, but he was, surprisingly, kind of enjoying it anyway.


	17. Shadows of Mysteries

"And then I sparred with her for a while," Allen continued, quiet and halting. Tiedoll nodded encouragingly, and Allen obligingly added, "She won, but only by a little. I think we have the same amount of experience."

Lenalee had been quick and agile, which wasn't at all a surprise considering what he'd seen in the training room, but that didn't stop her from hitting hard. Allen, of course, had his own years of defensive street brawling on his side, but his style was much more conventional than hers, even if it was dirtier.

But it had been a good match. Allen wanted to try again sometime, which surprised him. He hadn't ever thought that fighting could be _fun._

Still, it had been a long day, and Allen had to admit, he was kind of tired. The people here were nice - nicer than anyone he'd ever met before Mana, and anyone since, save Tiedoll - but Allen still was not a people person and meeting so many new ones had worn on him.

Something smacked into his forehead, and he yelped, reeling back a little and automatically reaching up to rub at the injured area. He opened his eyes, which had closed on reflex, and wondered if he'd gotten a concussion. The winged golden ball in front of him certainly suggested he had.

"Tim! What's gotten into you, you goddamn-"

The speaker stopped talking abruptly as he strode into view, and Allen heard Tiedoll inhale sharply beside him. Allen just frowned at the long-haired redhead, letting his hand fall from the new red mark on his forehead.

"General Cross," Tiedoll greeted at last. Allen side-eyed him warily at the mixed resignation and humor in his tone. "Quite a surprise to see you here. Normally you'd sooner let the akuma have you than come here."

"I like to keep people guessing," Cross smirked. His gaze wandered down to Allen, who tilted his head curiously, and then, abruptly, the general's eyes widened slightly, almost imperceptibly. Without missing a beat, beyond what Allen had already noticed, the general added, flippant enough that Allen almost wondered if he'd been mistaken, "Who's the kid?"

"My new apprentice," Tiedoll explained, a note of pride in his voice, his hand landing on Allen's shoulder. "This is Allen. Allen, this is General Cross Marian - I've told you some about him."

"I'm flattered," Cross snarked. He still hadn't taken his eyes off Allen. For that matter, the little golden ball was still fluttering about a foot in front of his face. "Tiedoll, can I talk to you for, oh, ten fucking seconds?"

Tiedoll frowned, but Cross had already brushed past Allen to grab Tiedoll's shoulder. There was something intense in his gaze that worried Allen, and Tiedoll looked startled - Allen guessed that this was uncharacteristic. After a moment, though, Tiedoll nodded, and Cross roughly used Tiedoll's shoulder to steer him into a nearby room.

"Great," Cross grunted. After a moment's thought and a _look_ from Tiedoll, he added, "Tim, watch the kid."

Allen was left in the hall, somewhat concerned for his master and staring at the little golden ball, which appeared to be staring back. Then the ball - Tim? - settled onto his head and snuggled there. Allen tried to peek up at it and failed.

"I don't understand anything here," Allen decided, and went to lean against the wall, waiting for Cross to finish with Tiedoll.

* * *

"Don't get attached," Cross said, the moment the door closed behind them.

Tiedoll sighed wearily; was that what this was about? _Again?_ "Marian…"

"I'm fucking serious this time," Cross snapped, and there was a look in his one visible eye that made Tiedoll stop, studying him. Cross glowered back, and before now, Tiedoll wouldn't have for a moment believed that Cross cared for him more than it took to keep from killing him, but God help him, Cross almost looked _concerned._ "Don't get attached to that kid."

"Do you know something, Marian?"

Tiedoll kept his voice carefully even, but he couldn't control the disapproval in his expression. He and Cross had very different life philosophies, and Tiedoll was sure that one day, Cross would go down hard, and bring down everything close to him in the same hasty motion.

It was an interesting coincidence, then, that there was little to nothing that was close to Cross Marian.

Cross' breathing was a little heavy, almost too slight a difference to be noticeable, and finally, he jerked his hand back and clenched it. "You're not stupid, Tiedoll."

Despite their… differences, Tiedoll shared something of an understanding with Cross, as he did with most of the generals; it was something that came naturally with having been the few to survive the years, with having all grown strong enough to stand against not only the akuma, but the Order as well. Cross respected Tiedoll more than he ever let on, and Tiedoll himself, well. He had more than a sneaking suspicion that Cross was far more than he seemed.

Cross, of course, did not surrender the trappings of his mind quite as easily as his apprentices did.

"You and your secrets," Tiedoll murmured, a much darker frown than normal twisting his mouth. "If I find out that your telling me could have let me avert whatever it may be that you're concerned about-"

"It couldn't," Cross gritted out. "You're going to get fucking attached, aren't you?"

Tiedoll gave Cross a mild look. Cross Marian was unbelievable at the best of times, but at times like this, Tiedoll was also slightly concerned for his mental health as well.

"Fuck," Cross groaned, as soon as he caught and interpreted the look. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

That was apparently the extent of caring that Cross was willing to show, because he swept out of the room, and Tiedoll heard him call, "Tim, leave the kid be, we've got shit to handle."

Tiedoll stared after him for a moment, then slowly shook his head. _Cross Marian, I will never understand you._

When he exited the room, he found Allen already looking at him expectantly. Tiedoll offered him a kind smile, trying not to concern himself overmuch with… whatever it was Marian knew.

But, Tiedoll may have to consider stepping up Allen's training a little.

"Master?" Allen inquired.

"Marian," Tiedoll said, because he had a policy of not lying to his students, "is a very confusing man."

Allen gave him a mildly irritated look, and Tiedoll gave him a beatific smile in return.

Marian severely underestimated how quickly Tiedoll grew attached to a new apprentice; he also underestimated Tiedoll's acquaintance with heartbreak. It wouldn't be the first time he'd lost an apprentice.

Still, Tiedoll would be damned if he let a single one of them go down without a fight, no matter what Marian said.


	18. Morning Light

Allen woke up as he always did: violently. He jolted up to sit bolt upright in his bed with wide eyes and rapid breaths, the echoes of Mana's last words echoing in his ears.

_I love you._

Allen hadn't taken Mana to be one for parting shots.

It took a few deep breaths, rubbing the tears out of his eyes, before he felt ready to look up, already opening his mouth to greet his master, who woke when Allen did almost half the time-

Except he was alone. For the first time in months - years, even, the days surrounding Mana's death excepted - Allen was alone.

For a moment, Allen just blinked stupidly at the sparsely decorated room, mouth still slightly open. Then his expression softened, and he smiled ironically, shaking his head at himself.

Amazing, what you could get used to. There had been a time when he wouldn't have dreamed of feeling safe enough around someone to actually fall asleep.

Then again, those times were long past.

Allen was glad.

For a few moments, Allen remained still, considering. Usually Tiedoll liked for him to wait to do his exercises until Tiedoll himself was awake to supervise him, citing the possibility of injury. (Allen suspected that Tiedoll thought he'd overexert himself if left alone. Tiedoll was a silly man.)

This meant that usually, when he first got up, Allen spent some time working on rehabilitating his hand; he'd actually made quite a bit of progress over the last few months. Though his drawings were still terrible - most of them met their end in the trash bin shortly after creation - his hand, at least, moved far better.

Now he just had to get used to actually using it for things. His lips quirked up again.

Tiedoll couldn't actually stop him from moving straight into his exercises, but… Habit was habit, and he didn't want to upset Tiedoll, anyway. Tiedoll always knew. It was weird. _Tiedoll_ was weird.

He sighed, reached down to rummage through his bag for a paper and pencil, and then, at the desk across the room, started to draw, slow and careful, silver eyes narrowed and intent.

Allen didn't like to draw, necessarily. For one thing, he hardly ever knew _what_ to draw, and usually ended up drawing the first thing to come to mind, usually extremely stupid things - trees, bushes, aimless roads. If he was feeling particularly inspired, he might draw a circus ball or a dog or a brick wall. He was also bad at it, never a pleasant feeling.

He did it anyway; Allen was used to dealing with doing things he didn't like for practical purposes.

Without his notice, drawing had also become the way Allen calmed himself after his nightmares.

Allen drew until sunlight started to peek through his window, at which point he pushed back, stretched, and then crumpled up the soiled paper and threw it at his bed - a reminder to himself to dispose of it later.

Then he entered the hallway, looked around, and realized that he had no idea where anything was.

Instantly, he deflated, shaking his head at himself. He didn't want to wake Tiedoll, who might well appreciate the sleep after all the times Allen had disturbed him accidentally, so it was up to him to find his way around. To the dining hall, maybe.

Allen was going to get so lost.

Allen sighed and set off, walking down the hall as if he actually knew where he was going.

As it turned out, all of the halls looked the same. So did all of the stairs, and most of the unlocked rooms. It was hell on Allen's sense of direction, and the few times he emerged to find the shaft the elevator travelled through did little to help.

With no particular direction in mind, Allen let himself wander and sank into thought.

Allen… liked the Order. He liked it people in the Order, who were, in a way, like Tiedoll. Which shouldn't be so much of a surprise, really.

He liked Lenalee, who was cheerful and friendly, if not a little cautious. He liked Komui, who was silly and a little strange, though both in a different way from either Tiedoll or Mana. He liked Marie, quiet and patient, and Daisya, loud and cheerful, He liked Jerry and Johnny and Reever.

Admittedly, he didn't like Kanda. But you couldn't have everything.

He hadn't dreamed a place like this existed; it seemed too good to be true, which, though Allen hated this about himself more than almost anything, instantly made him wary, for surely, the other shoe would eventually have to drop.

Silently, Allen put that on the list of things never to mention to Tiedoll.

Even lost in thought, Allen wasn't completely numb to his surroundings - not in a new place, an unfamiliar place. He heard the footsteps behind him long before the voice called out, but he was still startled.

"Hey! Squirt, uh… Allen! Hey, Allen!"

Surprised, Allen turned around, and his eyes fell on a grinning boy some ways behind him, now jogging lightly to catch up. "Daisya?"

"Yeah!" Daisya seemed pleased that Allen recognized him. "What's up? What're you doing here?"

"Um." Allen smiled sheepishly, intentionally relaxing and rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "Where's here?"

Daisya laughed. "Not sure where you are, huh?"

Allen shook his head, feeling his cheeks heat up slightly.

"That's alright," Daisya assured him, slapping his shoulder lightly. Allen shifted away but didn't take his eyes off Daisya, wide and curious. "No one knows their way around at first. I was heading to the training room just now; wanna come?"

Allen considered. "Master doesn't like me to train without him watching."

Daisya snorted. "Ah, the old man can deal with it," he dismissed. "It'll probably be fine if I'm with you." He cocked an eyebrow at Allen, still keeping pace with him. "So?"

Allen hesitated for a moment longer, but then he smiled. "Alright."

"Great!" Daisya grinned. "Come on, then. Don't be slow!"


	19. Not Quite Sorry

"Strength training hell, huh?" Daisya smirked from his upside down handstand - 'balance hell', Daisya liked to call his routine.

Allen made a soft, noncommittal sound, focused on his weighted pull-ups. Tiedoll hadn't been displeased with his progress on those, but since he had access to actual, definite weights, Allen wanted to get as strong as he could, and maybe get a better idea of what he was actually capable of as well.

Daisya, probably figuring that Allen knew his own routine better than Daisya did, had left him to it, and was halfheartedly keeping an eye on him from a few yards away while he went through his own. Even though Allen wasn't talking all that much, Daisya was holding up his own conversation well enough.

"You're gonna break your goddamn arms."

Allen, to his own surprise, was able to recognize that voice, and the accompanying derision, instantly. Kanda.

Allen huffed and stopped, but didn't bother letting go either, scowling at Kanda. "What do you care?"

"I just don't want Master blaming me for letting you," Kanda countered snappishly. "I bet he told you not to train alone - Daisya put you up to this, didn't he?"

"Hey, he's not five, I'm sure he can take care of himself," Daisya protested, rolling his eyes at Allen, who smiled reluctantly back.

"Not all of us have the maturity of a toddler," Allen told Kanda tartly, ignoring Daisya's onset of snickering.

"But some of us are about as tall," Kanda shot back, eying Allen pointedly.

Allen scowled and dropped down, crossing his arms. He tilted his head slightly, studying Kanda, who mirrored his position with a belligerent scowl.

"I'm not _short,"_ Allen said at last, voice resentful.

"An akuma could squish you without noticing!" Kanda snorted. "Beansprout!"

"My name is _Allen,"_ Allen snapped back. "And what are you saying?"

"I'm saying you won't last one month without master!" Kanda returned, and Allen might have assumed it was a taunt, but Kanda looked genuinely furious. Allen bristled.

"I can fight!"

Daisya stopped laughing, but he still looked more interested than concerned. Kanda stepped forward, clenching his fists, and Allen tensed.

"Then prove it!" Kanda challenged.

"Fine!" Allen growled.

Needing no further invitation, Kanda lunged for Allen, eyes blazing. Allen stepped aside, and then they were fighting.

Almost immediately, Allen realized that he was out of his depth; Kanda was faster than him, and more skilled, with a longer reach and more experience. He was bigger and stronger. Even without either of them using their Innocences, Allen was outmatched.

But he was also determined. He was not going to be underestimated, and he was not going to let Master down.

It took all of Allen's concentration to keep up, and Kanda's focus never wavered. Allen dodged one way and then another, and then he ducked and then he stepped back; Kanda landed very few hits, but already Allen was panting. He needed to find a gap in Kanda's defense.

Kanda smirked at him.

Allen's eyes flashed in anger, and then he dropped down, he lashed out to catch Kanda in the knee with his foot, and Kanda, not expecting it, went down.

A moment later, Allen was on him and they were grappling instead, and Kanda's smirk was gone. Instead, he heaved, and they rolled.

It ended with Allen on the bottom, struggling against Kanda's weight and wincing at the awkward angle Kanda held his arm at, but unable to dislodge him. There was no way out, except- There was always a way out. Allen relaxed.

"Damn it," Allen muttered.

Kanda snorted derisively and loosened his grip. "I fucking knew you were usele-"

Allen jerked, and Kanda, caught by surprise, was finally dislodged. Allen wasn't afraid to press his advantage and lunged at Kanda again, and this time, when they wrestled, informal and messy, both of them got more than a few blows in.

"Allen! Yuu!"

Both of them froze, Kanda in the middle of struggling to pin Allen to the floor again. Daisya stopped cheering.

Tiedoll had apparently found them; he stood in the doorway, looking in equal parts dismayed and frustrated; it was the first time Allen had seen something even resembling anger on Tiedoll's face.

As Allen watched, it faded into pure, unqualified disappointment, and he started to cross the room. Allen wanted to rip himself away from Kanda, to stand up when he was facing Tiedoll, but he couldn't; Kanda still had him pinned.

"Why are you fighting?" Tiedoll asked, and Allen cringed as he realized that the disappointment was just as strong in his voice as in his expression. "Allen, I asked you not to train unless I was present. Kanda, I asked you not to spar with Allen before he was ready."

Allen turned his head away, but he could still track Tiedoll's progress toward them; Kanda's grip on his arms grew tighter the closer Tiedoll came.

Finally, Tiedoll's shadow spilled over them, and Allen sensed him crouch beside them.

"Kanda, please get off of Allen," Tiedoll said quietly.

Kanda grunted and, after a moment's hesitation, practically threw himself off Allen. Allen instantly sat up and scooted away, wrapping his arms around his knees. His eyes fell again on Tiedoll, whose expression had softened into something sadder and more solemn. Allen swallowed.

"Allen," Tiedoll continued, "why did you disobey me?"

Allen turned his gaze on the floor, feeling a hot flush creep across his cheeks. "I wanted to try and push myself today." He avoided mentioning Daisya - it would make it sound like he was blaming him, and it was Allen's fault, after all.

"Allen, when you push yourself, you hurt yourself," Tiedoll chided gently. "That's why we have this rule. I don't want you to hurt yourself, understand?" Allen nodded, still not meeting his eyes, and Tiedoll transferred his gaze to Kanda. "Kanda, why did you spar with Allen?"

"Che!" Kanda looked away, scowling. Instead of answering, he snapped, "I don't see why you think he isn't ready. He's not made of _glass."_

Then he was up and storming out, leaving a startled Allen to stare after him alongside a somewhat pensive Tiedoll.

Finally, Tiedoll stood up and looked at Daisya directly. Daisya flinched slightly, crossing his arms uncomfortably.

"Daisya, please don't let Allen train unless you know he has my permission," Tiedoll told him, voice stern but free of blame. Daisya, avoiding his gaze, nodded, and Tiedoll looked back at Allen. "Alright, Allen. I'll talk to Yuu later. Will you tell me what you did while I was gone?"

Allen nodded and stood up, starting to cross the room to pick up one of the weights he was using. "Yeah. I saw these when I was with Lenalee-"

Allen hated disappointing Tiedoll.


	20. Rumpled Cloth

"Oh, Allen! There you are!"

Allen looked up quizzically at the excited call, and found Johnny hurrying toward him, with something cloth draped over his arm. Beside him, he heard Tiedoll hum approvingly.

"Johnny certainly works fast," Tiedoll commented approvingly.

Allen finished off his food and then shifted, turning more toward Johnny and tilting his head just as Johnny reached him. "Johnny?" he questioned. "You look exhausted." And a little manic. It was kind of alarming.

Johnny beamed at him. "I wanted to finish your uniform quickly," he explained happily. "Here, try it on!"

He shoved the bundle of cloth at Allen, who took it in a kind of daze of confusion.

"...Where?" Allen asked at last, looking around at all the people. Tiedoll coughed, poorly hiding a laugh. Allen did not appreciate this.

"Uh." Johnny also looked around, and then smiled sheepishly. "Maybe back at your room. Just make sure to come around and show me how it fits!"

Allen nodded. "Okay, I will. Thank you, Johnny."

"Of course!" Johnny assured him, dark circles under his eyes but grin no less bright for it, and before he knew it, Allen smiled back. Then Johnny was jogging off, probably to do more scientist things, and Allen was looking at Tiedoll in question. Tiedoll smiled at him.

"Well, let's not waste time."

Allen looked down curiously at the black and white uniform he now held, and carefully folded it over his arm like Johnny had done. Then he nodded.

In short order, both he and Tiedoll had cleared away their dishes, and Tiedoll was leading the way back to their rooms while Allen tried to memorize the route. It wasn't working very well, and from the sound of Tiedoll's chuckles, he knew it, too. Allen huffed quietly.

"Everything looks the same," he complained.

"You've only been here for a day," Tiedoll chuckled. "I'm sure you'll learn your way around eventually."

Allen frowned and then shrugged, shaking his head slightly. He was pretty sure he wouldn't, but there wasn't much point saying so. From the fond look Tiedoll shot over his shoulder, he was pretty sure his master knew what he was thinking anyway.

They reached Allen's room, and Tiedoll gestured for Allen to go in, smiling slightly. Allen tilted his head slightly, wondering why Tiedoll was making a point not to go in himself (it wasn't like Allen hadn't changed in front of him before) before shrugging it off and going in. Inside, he hesitated for a split second, and then shut the door.

The uniform, _his_ new uniform, hadn't left his arm since Johnny had given it to him. Allen laid it out on the bed, careful and meticulous, and then stood back a little to look at it.

There were four parts to the uniform. One was the pair of white gloves he'd asked for, which he carefully set to one side. There was also a pair of black pants, slightly rumpled already, and a shirt of the same color, with long sleeves. The last was a coat, long, carefully constructed not to restrain movement, and patterned with white and silver. On the left, where a breast pocket would normally go, there was a white Rose Cross, which he understood to be the symbol of the Black Order. At the collar, the hood fell limp and shapeless, as hoods tended to do.

Allen smiled slightly. He wasn't sure he'd ever owned anything this nice in his life.

A soft knock on the door startled him, and he jumped slightly.

"Allen?" Tiedoll called, voice slightly muffled by the door. "Are you done?"

"No," Allen called back, wincing slightly at his own dawdling, and hastily stripped himself of his normal clothing - also, now that he thought of it, bought by Tiedoll, who had disapproved of his old, slightly ratty clothing, which he was starting to outgrow anyway - before carefully replacing it with the uniform, leaving the old clothes lying on the bed.

Allen hesitated for a moment, looking down at himself, and then brushed a gloved hand briefly over the black and white cloth. Then he looked up, smiled slightly, and opened the door, peeking through.

"Done," he announced arbitrarily, smiling bashfully up at Tiedoll.

Tiedoll didn't miss a beat before smiling back, looking him up and down, and then nodding.

"Excellent," he assured Allen. "Exactly as it should be."

Allen beamed at him and stepped the rest of the way through, closing the door behind him. He looked back down and spun around once, watching the way the coat flared. "I like it," he admitted shyly.

"Of course, it looks wonderful," Tiedoll chuckled, reaching out to ruffle Allen's hair fondly. Allen tipped his head slightly into the touch, faintly amused. "Remember to thank Johnny, alright?"

"I will," Allen promised.

"And let him know if anything turns out to fit awkwardly or ever tears," Tiedoll tacked on. "He'll be able to fix it."

Allen nodded absently. "I will," he repeated. He glanced up at Tiedoll. "But he seems busy? He looked really tired."

"He'll probably have gone back to work," Tiedoll chuckled. "Lenalee often brings coffee to the Science Department when she's here; perhaps you could join her today. You could thank Johnny then without worrying about interrupting anything."

Allen smiled and nodded. "Okay, I will," he promised. "What now?"

"Now we see how you move in that," Tiedoll answered, already moving. Allen hurried after him, not wanting to be left behind, and smiled ruefully at Tiedoll's chuckle.

"Training?" he clarified.

"Training," Tiedoll confirmed. _"With_ supervision, this time."

"I deserved that," Allen muttered.


	21. Coffee From Two

Allen and Tiedoll left the training rooms just as pleased as when they entered.

"No restrictions on your movements at all?" Tiedoll checked one last time, smiling slightly at his apprentice.

Allen, hair still damp from the shower he'd taken afterward, smiled and shook his head. "No."

"Oh, Allen! General Tiedoll!"

Allen started and turned around. A smile appeared on his face when he saw who it was, and he waved. "Hi, Lenalee," he greeted warmly. "Were you training too?" Her hair was damp.

She bobbed her head, slowing down her jog as she caught up. "Yeah, I just got done." And then, delighted, "You got your uniform! It's very nice."

Allen nodded, smile widening slightly. "Thanks! I really like it. I'll have to thank Johnny soon."

"Johnny does great work," Lenalee agreed with a smile.

"Lenalee," Tiedoll broke in, smiling kindly at her. She tilted her head curiously. "Earlier, I suggested to Allen that he join you on your coffee run today. Would that be alright with you?"

Her eyes widened slightly in surprise, but then she smiled brightly and nodded. "Of course! I was actually going to the kitchens just now. Want to come, Allen?"

"Sure," he agreed. He looked at Tiedoll, who looked strangely delighted, considering this was something he'd engineered.

"I'll leave you in Lenalee's capable hands, then, Allen," Tiedoll smiled. "I have some business of my own to take care of."

A shadow passed behind Tiedoll's eyes with those last words. He hid it well, but it was hard to hide from Allen, harder as Allen got to know him. He tilted his head curiously, but before he could ask, Lenalee distracted him.

"Come on, Allen, let's go!" she said, nudging him. He turned his attention on her and nodded, following her down the hall. He could ask Tiedoll what he'd been up to later.

"I make coffee for the Science Department in Jerry's kitchen," she explained to Allen. "He helped me the first few times, but now I know how all on my own. Do you want me to teach you?"

Allen considered, and then nodded. "Yes, please." He couldn't see how it would be useful, necessarily, but there was really no reason not to learn.

They reached the kitchen much sooner than Allen thought they would - wasn't it further away? Lenalee laughed at his confused look and pushed the door open, and Jerry - inside as usual, which surprised Allen a little, considering how far it was from either breakfast or lunchtime - whirled around to smile at them.

"Lenalee, dear- oh!" He blinked in surprise, and then smiled a little wider. "Allen! Good to see you, honey. Are you here with Lenalee, or were you looking for a snack?"

Allen smiled shyly. "I'm with Lenalee," he affirmed, shifting a little closer to said girl - Jerry was nice, but still a little much.

"Alright, dearies," Jerry smiled. "Lenalee, you know how it goes - take anything you need, of course, and tell those in the Department that I expect to see at least a few of them here for dinner, understood?"

Lenalee giggled. "Of course, Jerry," she agreed. "I will."

"I will, too," Allen offered. Jerry beamed at them.

"Sweethearts, both of you. Well, don't let me hold you up." He turned around and got back to work - putting away a new shipment of food, Allen judged.

Lenalee nodded and led Allen over to a counter, then started to bring over the things they needed - or she needed, since Allen had no idea what he was doing.

Lenalee turned out to be a fairly good teacher - she seemed happy as she taught Allen how to make coffee, how to make it stronger than normal, and how awful it tasted (very awful) unless you put cream and sugar in it (still pretty awful) and then laughed at him when he made faces.

Then she distributed the coffee across two trays, and Allen, glancing over his shoulder, caught a glimpse of Jerry smiling at them fondly just before the door swung shut behind them.

"Jerry's been here much longer than I have," Lenalee explained to Allen, smiling, "which is more than a lot of people here can say." She giggled. "We've gotten to know each other pretty well."

Allen 'hm'ed. "Do you do this every day?"

"Every day I'm here," Lenalee confirmed, "unless I've broken my leg, because then I can't carry it. And it's kind of hard with a broken arm, too."

"I can help when I'm here," Allen offered. Lenalee's started slightly, disturbing the coffee mugs on her tray.

"Are you sure? I know this kind of thing gets tedious for most people."

Allen shrugged. "I don't mind. They help us a lot, right? It's the least I can do." He smiled at her. She beamed back.

"Thank you! I'd really appreciate the help, then." She laughed. "It's not unusual for me to have to make multiple trips, because there are so many scientists."

Allen laughed and nodded, remembering what he'd seen of the Science Department when they'd assessed his Innocence. "They're all so busy, too."

"There's a lot to do," Lenalee said ruefully. "I'd kind of like to learn what they're trying to do, but I'm away so often that I don't have the time to learn anything. So I try to make sure they can do what they have to do." She giggled. "That mostly means helping them stay awake and making Brother do his paperwork."

Allen smiled at her. "A job all its own?" he asked

"A job all its own," she confirmed.


	22. Check-Ups

Allen kept his smile as he passed out the coffee. Some of the scientists swarmed toward him, which Allen had very nearly flinched at, but Lenalee called out to most of those and gave them their coffee, leaving Allen to pass out more mugs to those who were so absorbed in their work that they hadn’t even noticed the commotion.

Of those, a few of them waved distractedly and offered mutters of thanks, but most of them just kept working with creepy intense gazes.

When his tray was empty, he looked around curiously. Most of the scientists had returned to their stations and were working again, mugs in hand, slurping every few seconds. He could recognize Reever, gesturing so hard the coffee nearly sloshed out, and Johnny, hunched over a file and peering at it.

“You could set a bull in here, and they’d only notice if it knocked their work over.”

Allen jumped slightly, looking over at Lenalee, who was smiling fondly, eyes sparkling with amusement. She glanced at him, smile widening slightly, and he smiled in response, adjusting the tray so he could hug it flat against his chest.

“Is it okay to interrupt?” he wondered. “Johnny asked me to come by once I’d put my uniform on, but he looks busy. I wouldn’t want to be a bother.”

“He’ll want to see,” Lenalee assured him, nudging him forward. “Go on.”

Allen shrugged, and then edged his way forward, avoiding tables and leaning stacks of papers, as well as precarious piles of supplies, and reached Johnny. For a moment, he hovered in front of Johnny hesitantly, watching him scratch notes onto his official-looking paperwork, and then, finally, asked,

“Johnny?”

Johnny blinked, startled, and then looked up quizzically. For another moment, he stared at Allen, and Allen tilted his head uncertainly.

Then Johnny’s expression brightened, and he nearly leapt up, beaming.

“Excellent! You put it on!” He gestured excitedly for Allen to spin around, and Allen carefully placed the tray on the table, on top of as few papers as possible, and obeyed, spreading his arms slightly. The stiff fabric swished only slightly, with no risk of twisting around his calves, and kept well above his feet, so he wouldn’t trip. Johnny’s grin broadened. “And it’s all good? No problems?”

Allen shook his head. “Master ran me through some drills after I put it on.”

“And the hood and gloves?” Johnny pressed, intent.

“They’re great,” Allen assured him, glancing down at his gloved left hand - it looked perfectly fine, and fit better than he would have expected. He looked back up and smiled at Johnny, shy but genuinely grateful. “Thank you very much, Johnny.”

Johnny beamed at him. “Anytime! Let me know if anything comes up, okay?”

“Okay,” Allen affirmed with a nod and another small smile. He tilted his head. “Do you have to go back to work now?”

“Oops,” Johnny chuckled sheepishly. “Yeah, I suppose I do. Thanks for coming around, Allen!” He smiled at Allen and returned to his seat, looked down at his file again, and practically snatched his pen back up from where he’d dropped it.

Allen silently marvelled at how easily the scientist had dropped back into his work. Allen had never been able to switch focus that easily, for some reason - it was one of the reasons he set time aside for drawing in the same way he did the rest of his training. He simply couldn’t bring himself to drop everything and draw on impulse the way Tiedoll did.

He left Johnny there, working as if he’d never been interrupted, and spotted Lenalee waiting patiently by the door. He smiled apologetically at her and started to make his way over, then paused as Reever, apparently noticing his destination, touched his elbow to get his attention. Allen turned his head to give Reever a questioning look.

Reever looked at him seriously for just a moment before it melted into a small, almost reassuring smile.

“By the way, Allen - you’re welcome here at any time.” Allen frowned, a little confused, and Reever clarified, “In the Science Department - we don’t have a lot of spare time, but if you just want a…” He chuckled. “Well, not a quiet place, but at least a friendly one - no one would mind you hanging around.”

Allen offered a small smile. “I’ll remember - thank you, Reever.”

“And-” Reever’s voice dropped slightly, turning softer. “There’s a couple of rooms - turn left exiting the cafeteria, third turn on the left, four doors down - that no one ever uses. They’re good quiet places.”

Allen wasn’t sure he could remember that, given his abysmal memory for directions, but he’d try anyway. His smile turned a little more honest. “Thank you,” he repeated.

Reever smiled at him, and then hurried along to keep something from exploding.

Definitely not a quiet place, Allen noted with a hint of amusement. But the circus hadn’t been, either.


	23. Keynote

Since that first lesson with Tiedoll, both Allen's art skills and his control over his left hand had grown exponentially. Improvement, at least, was something Allen could appreciate, even if the art itself was still not his favorite thing. His master might enjoy it, but Allen liked entertaining crowds better. He liked their smiles.

He was drawing in his room, at the end of the second day since their arrival, with his uniform carefully folded up and set aside, leaving Allen in a set of soft pajamas, hands ungloved and silver eyes focused intently on the paper before him.

He was tired, by now - it had been a long day. All the same, the previous night's nightmare had made him wary, and he was reluctant to sleep now - he'd hate to end such a nice day on such a sour note. That left him to occupy himself until he could convince himself that sleeping was not optional.

Past evidence suggested that it would take a while.

A knock on the door was not quite enough to break his focus, so it was without thought that he called, "Come in."

The door opened, and he glanced up, expecting it to be Tiedoll, checking in on him again. But it wasn't - it was Marie, still in his uniform, with a warm expression on his face and relaxed, open palms. Allen, by sharp contrast, stiffened, dropping his pencil and withdrawing his arms sharply against his chest - he couldn't even pretend he wasn't hiding them from sight.

"Allen," Marie greeted, voice low and calming. Allen stared at him, wide-eyed and alarmed, surprised out of what sleepiness might have lingered in his mind. Marie tilted his head slightly, brow furrowing in concern. "I'm sorry if I startled you. Am I unwelcome?"

Allen held his gaze for a few long moments, and then blew out a soft breath, relaxing. Of course. Marie was blind. He wouldn't have seen-

Allen offered Marie a small smile, letting his hands drop into his lap. "It's fine. You can sit down if you like. Did you want something?"

Marie smiled at him and entered, closing the door behind him. After a slight pause, Allen cleared his throat and kicked a chair gently, just enough to make a sound - it had been in the room when he came, and now he supposed it was for guests. It hadn't occurred to him that people might want to see him.

"Thank you," Marie chuckled, crossing to the chair and sitting in it. Allen tilted his head at him, curious, and Marie continued, "I was actually hoping to check on you. How long have you been with Master?"

Allen's gaze cut to one side, and he deflated slightly. "Since January," he answered quietly.

Marie's expression softened, turning somber and understanding. "Not very long at all," he commented, matching Allen's tone and volume. "They say it gets better with time."

Allen returned his eyes to Marie, refocusing on him and sitting up slightly. "Does it?"

"Not really," Marie admitted with a soft, rueful chuckle. "But you learn."

"You learn," Allen echoed, contemplative and something like wistful. He shook his head once, sharply, and said, abruptly, "You've been an exorcist since you were nineteen, haven't you? Has it been hard?"

"Harder than anything," Marie admitted, smile fading. It restored itself in a few moments, and he continued, "But the Order itself - you've come at a very good time, Allen. You're welcome here - understand that, if nothing else."

Allen's gaze dropped. "People have been saying that."

"And they will continue to do so," Marie assured him, amusement tugging at his mouth. "Until they are sure you understand." Chuckle. "There are quite a few very large personalities here."

Allen smiled. "I used to live in a circus," he assured Marie. "I'm used to large personalities."

"Then you'll fit in just fine," Marie smiled.

For a moment, both of them let a comfortable silence stand in place of conversation. Though Allen knew he couldn't see him, Marie's eyes were politely settled on his, while Allen gazed back thoughtfully, hands clasped on his knees and legs crossed at the ankle, feet scraping gently back and forth across the ground.

Marie was… easy to be around. Tiedoll had mentioned this, but Allen hadn't expected it to be so true - he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so relaxed around someone he'd known for so little time. But Marie - for all that Allen knew that he was a fighter, at least as much so as anyone here, seemed steady and reassuring.

Allen liked him.

At last, Allen commented, "Master told me that you liked to play music."

Marie sat up, noticeably brightening, though he tried to hide it. Allen, in return, didn't bother concealing his own smile. "I do. What about it?"

"May I…" Allen bit his cheek, smile fading slightly. He wondered, briefly, if he was overstepping, but if he knew performers- "May I hear?"

Sure enough, Marie's smile broadened slightly. "Of course. Now?"

"If you don't mind," Allen smiled, reaching up to rub the back of his head sheepishly. "Master told me you were very good."

"I've had a lot of practice," Marie replied, activating his Innocence silently. A twitch of his wrist buried the threads in the ground while Allen watched with interest. "But Master exaggerates, of course."

Allen giggled quietly, and then silenced himself as Marie reached down, the older exorcist's smile fading into a more content look. Allen leaned forward, eyes on Marie.

Marie's music, like his voice, was soft and soothing. It reached out to Allen and promised him companionship and love, and somehow, did more to reassure Allen of his safety than almost anything else could. Musical notes, which Allen had seen before and never understood, only conjured random sounds for in his head, ran through his mind.

Allen smiled softly; it matched Marie's, though the other exorcist was no longer looking at him, more focused on his music than on maintaining the illusion of sight.

As it went on, filling the still night air, it also reminded Allen of his tiredness, and at the same time, made him forget why he had been afraid to sleep in the first place. He stifled a yawn, but tried to keep his focus on Marie; he liked hearing the man play.

Marie chuckled, never faltering in his movement. "You can sleep if you wish, Allen. Daisya would never admit it, but I've played him to sleep before, too."

"Okay," Allen murmured, too sleepy to protest. He let his head fall to the crook of his elbow. Slowly, his eyes drifted shut, and he fell asleep to the sound of a lullaby.

When he heard Allen's heartbeat slow enough to indicate sleep, Marie smiled, slowing to a halt. He stood up, located the bed, and then gently picked Allen up. As his hands touched the younger boy, Allen stirred slightly, murmuring in discomfort, but he stopped as soon as Marie set him down.

Marie's smile faded somewhat, but not entirely, and he pulled the covers over him.

"Goodnight," he told his master's newest and youngest apprentice, and then he stood again, extinguished the lamp, and left.


	24. Consideration and Reconsideration

Allen woke up twice that night, heart racing as he stared, frozen, at the shadowed silhouettes of his room. The first time, he got up and paced around for a while, and then lay back down and tried to go back to sleep. He didn’t even realize he’d fallen asleep until he woke up the second time, to just a hint of daylight starting to light up the room, and, unable to isolate the reason he’d woken, he’d slipped back off to sleep.

The third time he woke up, it was to Tiedoll knocking on his door.

For a moment, he stared at it confusedly, unable to quite figure out what was going on.

“Allen? Is something the matter?” Tiedoll called out, sounding concerned.

Allen thought that over for a moment, glanced at the window, and blanched. A second later, he was up and stumbling to the door, and then he wrenched it open, blushing brightly. “I’m sorry, Master, I don’t know why I slept so late-”

Tiedoll laughed. Allen shut up and stared at his feet, mortified.

He glanced up when he felt Tiedoll’s hand on his head, ruffling his hair gently. When he saw Tiedoll smiling at him fondly, he relaxed and chided himself for being foolish. Tiedoll had been trying to get him to sleep more almost since they’d begun travelling together; of course he wouldn’t mind.

“It’s quite all right,” Tiedoll assured him, kindly refraining from laughing. “It’s not that late, though I’m surprised you weren’t up already.” His smile warmed. “I’m glad.”

Allen blushed harder and shuffled, and then noticed what Tiedoll was carrying and asked, “What are those?”

“Ah!” Tiedoll blinked in surprise, and then smiled again. “Do you mind if I come in?”

Tiedoll was a little scatterbrained. Not as bad as Mana had been, not nearly, but it was very distinct. And kind of funny.

Allen nodded instantly and shifted to make way, and Tiedoll crossed the room to sit on the chair by the desk. Allen took the cue and sat on the other, placed more directly in front of it, and tilted his head at Tiedoll questioningly, left arm resting lightly on the desk.

Tiedoll set the papers on the desk and Allen looked down at them curiously. It took him a moment – while Mana had (slowly, painstakingly, and despite Allen’s loud protests and the man’s own struggles) taught him to read, and Tiedoll to write, he still didn’t get much chance to practice either – and before he’d quite decoded it, Tiedoll was already explaining.

If there was one complaint Allen had about Tiedoll, it was that he tended to underestimate Allen’s independence – what he _could_ do by himself, and what he _wanted_ to. But Allen didn’t want to say anything.

“The Science Department keeps a set of files on every exorcist the Order has taken on since its founding,” Tiedoll started.

 _The Black Order didn’t take me on,_ Allen caught himself thinking resentfully. **_You_** _did._

And then he quashed that thought, because it didn’t seem that anyone else here thought that way, and he shouldn’t, either.

Uncharacteristically oblivious, Tiedoll continued, “They already have some of the information they need – the tests they did the other day made sure of that – but they’ll need some of it straight from you. I thought we could do that now.”

Allen considered that for a moment, and then nodded in understanding. The circus had not been so thorough about it, but even there, you didn’t get in without at least a cursory interview. Even here, where no exorcist was turned away, they would want to know everything they could about their employees. That was how you got the most use out of them.

“Okay,” he told Tiedoll, and Tiedoll smiled.

“Excellent. Now, the first step of any form is to fill in your name-”

* * *

After breakfast, Allen went alone to deliver the (very long, ridiculously complicated, and extremely frustrating) forms to Komui.

He quickly realized that this was a mistake, getting lost more times than he could count – but he found his way there eventually.

Tiedoll had told him to expect to have to wake Komui up when he got there (why would Komui be sleeping this late? And why would he sleep in his office?) so Allen was surprised to hear voices coming from inside the office – and not especially friendly ones, either. He paused just outside, paperwork clamped against his chest, back against the wall just by the doorframe.

“I’m telling you, that kid _can’t_ fucking stay with Tiedoll.”

Allen didn’t freeze, not quite, but he stiffened, his attention sharpening as his muscles tensed.

“Tiedoll has been handling apprentices for as long as he’s been a general, General Cross.” Komui’s voice was stern, and faintly confused as well, Allen judged warily. “I’m sure he’ll do fine.”

“You aren’t fucking listening, you goddamn sis-com!”

“Let’s say for a moment that I _did,_ for some reason, take him from General Tiedoll.” Allen bit his cheek so hard he tasted blood. “Who would I put him with instead? Yeegar? He’s getting old, he’s been putting off taking on new apprentices lately. Nyne? She’s been avoiding HQ since her last apprentice died.” Allen heard a hint of grief in Komui’s tone, but the man forged on, becoming, apparently, more frustrated; Allen took it as a good sign. “God forbid, _Zokalo?_ Cross, you aren’t making sense.”

There was a pause.

“I’d take him,” Cross said at last. Allen’s arms tightened, crinkling the paper in his arms, and, against his will, his expression started to twist as well, hints of apprehension and dismay starting to make themselves known.

“You?” There was no hiding the incredulity in Komui’s voice. “You’ve never taken an apprentice in your life.”

“First time for everything.” Allen couldn’t read Cross’ tone and that made him nervous.

Pause.

“Cross.” Komui broke the silence this time, careful and trying for reasonable. Missed by a fair amount, but he tried. “You’ve never shown any desire to take an apprentice before. General Tiedoll _loves_ taking apprentices. Why now? And why not go out and find one yourself?”

Yet another pause.

“None of your goddamn business,” Cross said at last, with a darkness to his voice that he hadn’t had before.

Komui sighed, loud enough that Allen could just barely catch it through the door. “Cross, I can’t, in good conscience, take Allen away from a master he’s clearly settled in well with, for reasons which are unclear to me.”

“…Fine.”

With a tone like that, Allen didn’t doubt for a moment that Cross had another way to go about getting what he wanted.

Then there were footsteps, fast and loud, and Allen didn’t even have time to react beyond jumping away from the door before it was opening. He stared at the redhead who emerged, wide-eyed and startled, and, just for a moment, Cross met his eyes, with a gaze that was dark and chilly, without the cruelty Allen was used to but enough calculation to unnerve him.

The moment passed, and Allen was staring at Cross’ retreating back, the door slamming shut beside him.

Allen waited, long enough for his heartbeat to settle and him to regain control of his expression, before he sighed, turned, and straightened his back. Then he opened the door and peeked in.

Komui was at his desk – still not asleep, as Allen had previously been warned, but not working, either. Instead, he was staring pensively at his desk, making no move to reach for any of his mountains of paperwork.

Allen cleared his throat.

“I’m sorry,” Allen said apologetically, not meeting Komui’s eyes. “I got lost.”

“That’s fine,” Komui reassured him, giving no mention or indication of the conversation Allen had just overheard. Then, more cheerily, “People get lost all the time! You know, I bet I could make a Komurin to solve that! I should get right on that! It’s genius!”

Allen wondered what a Komurin was, and then decided he didn’t want to know.

“I have paperwork,” he said, holding out the papers by way of explanation.

“Ah! Thank you.” Komui took it, and then dumped it unceremoniously on top of a teetering pile that Allen eyed with some trepidation. “Was that all?”

Allen nodded.

Komui smiled. “Don’t be afraid to come to me anytime,” he reassured Allen, and then grinned. “But I’m sure you have better things to do than stand here talking to the wonderful me all day.”

Allen shrugged, and then resisted the urge to back away, instead turning to go to the door, as fast as he could walk without making it obvious how unnerved he was.

He half-turned back at the door, waved with a polite smile, and then left, letting it click sharply behind him before he headed off, rather quickly, to return to Tiedoll. Just in case.

It wasn’t until the door had shut behind him that Komui let his frown show.

“He’s very skittish,” he murmured regretfully, and reached to pull down the file Allen had just given him.


	25. Right of Passage

Tiedoll was where he’d promised Allen he’d be – outside by the forest, drawing. Allen knew that Tiedoll had a training schedule, but he’d only rarely seen his master at it. Instead, drawing, talking, helping his apprentices train.

Allen’s master was a very frustrating person.

Allen silently approached Tiedoll and knelt down behind him, watching him draw a half-finished picture of the forest before them, with a figure added in. After some thought and examination, Allen identified it as Kanda – swinging his sword, if Allen had to guess from the lines drawn in already.

A few more minutes passed in silence, though Allen knew that Tiedoll knew he was there. Finally, Tiedoll, still sketching the bark of a tree, asked,

“What’s wrong?”

Allen accidentally let slip a soft, startled sound. “Nothing.”

…Allen normally lied better than that.

Tiedoll, in turn, put down his pencil and looked over to give Allen a disappointed, worried look, which made Allen wince. “Allen, please. Did something happen on your way to Komui’s office?”

Allen shrugged. “Is that Kanda?”

_“Allen.”_

Allen dropped his gaze and sat down, sticking his hands in his lap. “General Cross thinks that you shouldn’t be my master.”

Tiedoll went very, very still; Allen didn’t have to be looking right at him to see that. It took a few moments for Tiedoll to speak after that, but Allen certainly wasn’t going to break the silence.

“Does he, now,” Tiedoll murmured. And then he shook his head. “I’ve never liked that man.”

Allen looked up, eyes wide and startled; Tiedoll never admitted to disliking _anyone._

Tiedoll caught his look in the moments before Allen wiped it away, to Allen’s frustration, and smiled wryly and explained, “Somewhere along the line, Cross forgot that the people around him were truly people, and not merely puppets for him to use to his advantage.” His smile faded. “I’d rather keep you as far away from him as I can, if I’m entirely honest.”

Allen let his expression turn serious and nodded. “He wants me to be his apprentice,” he offered quietly. “I don’t know why. He wouldn’t say.”

Tiedoll frowned. “Was he talking to you about this?” he asked, worry growing visibly.

Allen shook his head silently. Tiedoll let out a soft sigh.

“Please keep away from him,” Tiedoll requested, and Allen nodded again. More seriously still, Tiedoll added, “Don’t worry, Allen. I won’t let anyone take you away from me.”

Then Tiedoll offered a small, reassuring smile, and Allen, in return, let a hesitant one grace his face in return.

“Okay,” Allen replied, keeping his voice just as soft.

* * *

Within fifteen minutes of arriving at the lounge, Allen decided he didn’t like it.

He didn’t, at present, know anyone in it, and he was getting strange, wary looks – probably because of his uniform, given that his left arm was covered up at the moment. He also wasn’t sure what to do without company, and he didn’t really want to approach the finders in the room. And _all_ of the people in the room were finders.

Luckily, just as he was deciding that, a familiar face appeared.

“Hey, Allen!” Daisya called loudly, ignoring the attention this attracted. He waved and gave Allen a grin, eyes glittering with amusement. “What’re you doing in here?” Allen shrugged. Daisya stared at him expectantly for a moment, and then decided, “Whatever. C’mon!”

Allen gladly followed him back out, ignoring the stares at his back, which disappeared once the door shut behind him.

“Lenalee showed you that room, didn’t she?” Daisya asked knowingly.

Allen nodded. Daisya snorted.

“The exorcists don’t really hang out in there much. We usually meet up in one of the training rooms and just stay there.” He grinned at Allen. “If you’re looking for company, just go train.”

Allen let the corners of his lips tip up in a smile even as he protested, “I’m not allowed.”

“…That would be a problem.” Daisya seemed to find that pretty funny, given the size of his grin.

After a few moments of no further explanation, Allen asked, “Where are we going?”

“To one of the training rooms!” Daisya explained happily.

Allen stared at him. “I’m not allowed to train,” he pointed out, wondering if Daisya was especially forgetful.

Daisya made an exasperated sound. “What’s wrong with all you people? We’re not _training._ We’re gonna play, you little workaholic.”

Allen stared at Daisya, mouth slightly open, fully aware of how stupid he must look. As soon as h snapped out of it, he closed his mouth, bit back his instinctive response (which was something along the lines of ‘You actually want to play with me?’) and asked, “What are we playing?”

“Football!” Daisya declared proudly, and then paused. “Well. Not _really_ football, because we don’t have any goals. But basically football.”

Allen considered him, considered his history with people who said they wanted to play with him, considered Tiedoll, and smiled. “I’ve never played that before. Can you teach me how?”

 _“What?”_ Daisya sounded very indignant, and Allen was worried for a short moment, until Daisya launched into an explanation of the gameplay and rules, interspersed with incredulity and frustration with Allen’s apparently deprived life.


	26. Matters of Perspective

They played for over an hour. Allen was surprised at how much he enjoyed it; Daisya was lighthearted and loud, and he didn’t ask questions or make fun of him (not meanly, anyway) or really do anything except teach Allen how to play and then beat him soundly. Multiple times.

Allen wanted to do this again sometime, he decided, and wondered if Marie or Kanda played. (Probably not Kanda. He didn’t seem like a game sort of person.)

Finally, on finishing their latest game, Daisya claimed the ball, kicked it up with a well-practiced kick, and deactivated it. Then he swiped it out of the air and reached back to reattach it to his hood.

Allen watched him, panting slightly from exertion, and laughed. “I didn’t think that Innocence could be used for anything but destroying akuma,” he admitted, face flushed and smiling.

“No one does,” Daisya said dismissively, also panting a little, a grin on his face. “You gotta think _outside the box,_ Allen. C’mon, nothing can’t be used for fun. You just have to _think_ about it.”

Allen used to work in a circus. He considered the idea that maybe he hadn’t absorbed as much of that mindset as he should have. It certainly hadn’t been for lack of trying, though, at least on Mana’s part.

For a moment, Allen’s smile flickered, and he sat down cross-legged in the middle of the floor. Daisya joined him, leaning back on his arms, still grinning.

“I guess I never thought of it like that,” Allen said finally. He glanced down at his arm – his Innocence, which had always been a source of anything _but_ fun. “You don’t think it’s…” He trailed off, not sure exactly what he’d meant to say. Weird? Dangerous? Irreverent?

He suppressed a snort. Daisya had been the very meaning of irreverent since Allen had arrived, and Allen got the feeling that this was normal for him. And Allen wasn’t exactly noted for being respectful of such things either.

Daisya smirked at him, possibly thinking along the same lines. “Nah. It chose us, right? To do whatever we wanted. And if it’s gonna put us through this sort of hell, the least it can do is let us play around for a while.” He rolled his eyes. “It’s not like it’s gonna _hurt_ it.”

Allen considered that.

It made a sort of sense. Allen used his left arm almost as much as his right, now. Tiedoll occasionally made sculptures with his Innocence. And they’d just played soccer with Charity Bell. All of those were possible applications of the Innocence, unrelated to use as a weapon.

The Innocence _must_ tolerate it. It hadn’t done anything about any of that. In fact, it had almost invited it, taking those forms with their respective accommodators – it could have taken a different form, without those applications, but it hadn’t.

He’d just never thought about it.

“Oh.”

Daisya laughed at him, and Allen smiled slightly.

“You caught on faster than Kanda,” Daisya told him. “He still only ever touches Mugen if he wants to use it on someone.”

Allen thought about that, and found himself caught between a scowl and a smile. It seemed like Kanda, from what he’d heard and seen of him.

Daisya laughed at him again – or, more accurately, at the look on his face – and hopped up, holding his hand out for Allen to take. “C’mon! I bet we can get another game in before we have to get to training.”

“Okay,” Allen agreed, and barely hesitated before taking Daisya’s hand and letting him tug him up.

“You weigh as much as a feather,” Daisya informed him, and then pulled Charity Bell back off his hood, spinning it on his index finger as he activated it, making it grow. “You’re gonna make the old man fuss.”

“He fusses already,” Allen said, and Daisya laughed.

The ball tumbled to the ground, and the next game began.

Allen let himself grin.

* * *

“Komui?”

Tiedoll hid a smile as Komui snorted and woke up, sitting up at his desk with a sleepy look, rubbing at his face tiredly. Komui wasn’t much younger than Tiedoll himself, but at times the difference was extremely pronounced.

“General?” Komui returned, sleepiness giving way to curiosity. He sat up slightly, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Is something the matter?”

Tiedoll’s smile faded, his expression turning serious. After a moment, Komui’s expression shifted to match, and he sat up entirely, folding his hands on the desk in front of him.

“Yes,” Tiedoll answered, striding forward so he stood just in front of Komui’s desk, head tilted slightly to look down at the other man. “I understand that Marian recently approached you about making Allen his apprentice?”

“Yes, earlier today,” Komui frowned. “I assure you, General, I wouldn’t dream of transferring Allen without reason, and certainly not to General Cross.”

“I should hope not,” Tiedoll huffed, and then shook his head. “Never mind that. Did he give any indication as to why he found this necessary?”

Komui shook his head slowly, brow furrowing slightly. “I’m afraid not. Do you yourself have some idea?”

He did, in fact, though it was very vague. It had to be more serious than Tiedoll had imagined, though, if Cross intended to take Allen on himself. If he wanted him _close._

“Some,” Tiedoll agreed vaguely, mind running through a frustratingly short list of possibilities. “But very little, I’m afraid.” He tipped his head toward Komui. “Do keep me informed, won’t you, Komui?” He smiled.

“Of course,” Komui assured him, and though Tiedoll didn’t know it, Komui, too, was suddenly much more suspicious than he had been.

Tiedoll nodded, and then he turned and left, quick and striding.

Cross, Tiedoll knew, had a tendency to get what he wanted, one way or another. He was as charismatic as he was irritating, as well-connected as he was nomadic, and he was not afraid to play dirty. He relished it, in fact, or at least, Tiedoll believed so.

Dirty, in this case, meant Central.

Tiedoll hoped to God it wasn’t that serious. He might have to speak to Cross about this directly, and this time, he would have to be _persistent._

What could Cross possibly want with Allen?


	27. Modes of Inquiry and Investigation

Cross’ room was a mess, just like his life.

That was the first thing Tiedoll thought when he opened the door into it. The place wasn’t hard to find, exactly, but Tiedoll had never been there before – he tended to avoid the rooms of other exorcists in general, given that they were private places.

This was an exception.

Cross was at a single-person table off to one side of the room, a bottle of wine in front of him. It was clearly barely started, but the slump of his shoulders and glaze of his eyes suggested drunkenness. Any bottles he might have drunk previously were probably scattered among the others on the ground.

“Froi, you idiot bastard,” Cross slurred, peering at him. “What d’you want?”

“For you to stop pretending to be drunk, for a start,” Tiedoll said sternly, arms crossed, face set into what almost passed for a glower behind his glasses. “Marie spoke to you fifteen minutes ago, and you weren’t drunk in the least then.” He eyed the bottle in Cross’ hand significantly. “I suspect that’s the only bottle you’ve had.”

“Do you really doubt my ability to get drunk so quickly?” Cross asked, but he sat up nonetheless, giving up the illusion of drunkenness with uncharacteristic ease.

“When nothing particularly terrible has happened recently?” Tiedoll returned, eyebrow arched. “Yes.”

“Damn.” Cross smirked at him, but his eyes were dark. “Fine. What’s your deal, then? Let’s get it over with so I can _actually_ get drunk.”

“Allen overheard your conversation with Komui,” Tiedoll explained, getting straight to the point. “Marian, why on _Earth_ do you want Allen as your apprentice? You hate apprentices.”

It seemed uncharacteristic for a man such as Cross to turn down such a perfect opportunity to mold someone to his will. Tiedoll wondered how many people Cross had lost in the past, to so determinedly avoid feeling that pain again.

“He was _listening?”_ Cross demanded, and then, when Tiedoll just looked at him patiently, lapsed into muttering. “Damned fucking nosy-as-all-hell little brat, I-”

 _“Marian,”_ Tiedoll said sternly, a deep furrow of disapproval appearing in his brow. “Do _not_ speak of my apprentices in such a manner, please.”

Cross squinted at him, and then bit off another curse. _“Fuck._ You’re attached already, aren’t you?”

Obviously.

Cross read his expression and growled, deep in his chest. “You can have the rest of them, you bleeding-heart idiot, but you can’t have this one. This one’s _special.”_

The last word was nearly spat out, and Tiedoll could read the pity between the lines. Tiedoll’s muscles tightened, wondering what Cross knew that earned Allen his _pity,_ of all things, and he replied,

“You can’t stop people from hurting themselves, you know.” Tiedoll would save every child exorcist that he possibly could, no matter how much pain it caused when they died, always, always long before he did, before their time.

Cross thought about growling at him again; Tiedoll could see it in his expression. Instead, he said, “He’s going to die.”

Stop. Blink.

“Excuse me?”

Of course Allen was going to die. He was human. What’s more, he was a child exorcist; Tiedoll already knew, as much as he hated it, that he was most likely going to outlive this apprentice, too. In all honesty, probably the only one he _wouldn’t_ outlive was, perhaps, Yuu.

And Tiedoll didn’t believe for a moment that Yuu’s ability to heal was infinite.

“I know,” was what Tiedoll settled on, jaw set and resolute.

“You don’t understand,” Cross argued, as if he had more experience in this matter than did Tiedoll. “This kid is _going to die._ No ifs, ands, or buts about it. He’s going to get eaten from the inside out. I made sure of it.”

A lesser man might have missed the self-loathing in the man’s voice. Tiedoll didn’t. It didn’t help soothe the rush of anger and fear, though, and Tiedoll let it come, rode it out, and clenched his jaw briefly, closing his eyes for just a moment before he opened them back up to gaze at Cross again. Cross gazed back, eyes dark, hand clenched around the bottle.

Cross never gave the whole story, Tiedoll knew.

“And?” Tiedoll prompted, arms crossed, uncompromising.

“I didn’t think it would be a _kid,”_ Cross said defensively, which was enough for Tiedoll to take a little bit away from.

Cross had, unsurprisingly, not condemned a child to death for the hell of it. He was trying to get something out of it. It was very like Cross to have not considered the true depth and nature of the consequences, but being that this was Cross, it was likely part of some grand scheme. Generally, Cross’ grand schemes were aimed either against Central or toward saving some large population of people, or otherwise achieving some war-based goal. Tiedoll had seen them play out time and time again, and it always left him feeling dirty, because someone else always took the fall.

So it had always been, and so it was now.

“Of course not,” Tiedoll answered. “You don’t think.”

Cross scowled at him, but didn’t argue, which meant he _really_ felt bad. “You can’t save him, Tiedoll,” was what he said instead. “You can’t save a kid from a parasite.”

Tiedoll chilled, again.

“A parasite?” he questioned softly.

Cross’ eyes flashed with something like panic, which would seem to indicate he hadn’t meant to say that at all – a rare and unusual thing for a man of secrets like Cross. Then Tiedoll ducked a bottle thrown at his head.

“Get the fuck out!” Cross snapped, brittle and low.

Tiedoll left, more confused and worried than when he’d entered, but, at least, with a path of inquiry to take.

Even if he dreaded where it would lead.


	28. Fretful Tendencies

Tiedoll’s first thought was of Innocence.

Tiedoll had never taken a parasite-type as an apprentice before; he hadn’t known what to expect when he started. Now he was wondering if that had caused him to miss things that a master more experienced with parasite users – Nyne, for instance, who had taken at least three on top of being one herself – would not have.

Though science was far from his specialty, he’d asked Reever for his notes on parasite-type Innocences, ignored the man’s worried look, and holed up in a corner of the lab, reading fervently.

He wasn’t sure precisely what he was looking for. But surely there was _something._ Some aspect of parasite types that could be turned unusually deadly, or which were unusually subject to the interference of, perhaps, manipulative generals who never stood still-

“Master?”

It took Tiedoll a moment to register the worried call, and he chided himself for the lapse even as he looked up.

Allen was hanging back a few feet away, hands clasped behind his back, head dipped down slightly. His white hair shone in the bright light of the lab, stark against the dark color scheme, and his brow was furrowed in concern. His shoulders rose and fell slightly with each breath, and he was rocking back and forth almost imperceptibly, from his heels to the balls of his feet and back.

He looked, Tiedoll thought unhappily, _young._ Allen was younger than Marie, younger than Daisya, younger than Yuu – at present, he was the youngest of Tiedoll’s apprentices.

And according to Cross, he’d been a damned soul long before Tiedoll found him.

According to Cross, there was nothing Tiedoll could do to save him.

“Master?” Allen repeated, starting and then aborting a half-step forward.

Tiedoll blinked, and then realized he was staring, not to mention despairing. How uncharacteristic of him.

“Allen,” he greeted, a little more exhaustion than he’d intended seeping into his voice. He adjusted his glasses, reminding himself that he’d never given up on an apprentice before and wasn’t about to now. “How long have you had your Innocence?”

Allen tilted his head, angling it a little more upward, confusion joining the worry in his expression. “All my life,” he said hesitantly, taking a small step toward Tiedoll. His eyes flicked briefly to the papers on the table, and then back to Tiedoll.

Tiedoll hummed thoughtfully. Yes, Allen had mentioned that, hadn’t he? Of course, Tiedoll had asked him before. “Has it ever done anything unusual?” he prompted, determinedly keeping the anxiety out of his voice.

“It’s used itself before,” Allen answered, voice slow and measured.

“Have you ever met Marian before we came here?” Tiedoll pressed. He hadn’t found anything in his perusal of the Science Department’s notes, which was no surprise, in hindsight – Cross was quite the scientist himself, but had probably stopped sharing his findings with his Science Department after he became a general.

Allen’s nose wrinkled. “No.” And then, “Master, what’s wrong? This isn’t like you.”

Tiedoll blinked, and then sighed and placed the notes down. He took a moment to arrange them back to the way they had been when Reever had given to him, and then gave Allen an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, Allen, that was very rude of me. How did your day go?”

Allen just stared at him. Tiedoll concluded that he had messed up – because, among other things, Allen _hated_ discussing his Innocence, especially without warning – and suppressed a wince.

“What’s wrong?” Allen repeated.

“Marian gave me some deeply concerning news,” Tiedoll admitted, running his fingers briefly through his hair with a grimace. “I’m worried, that’s all.” He gave Allen a weary smile, trying to reassure him. “Really, tell me how your day went. Were you able to occupy yourself?”

Allen stared at him more, but the confusion and wariness of earlier had shifted into that unreadable, measuring look that he got occasionally.

“It was fun,” he said at last, short and obviously reluctant. “Daisya taught me how to play soccer. I helped Lenalee take coffee here again. I watched Suman and Johnny play chess.” Allen hesitated, gaze still searching Tiedoll. “Jerry said you didn’t come for lunch, so I came to look for you.” Allen stepped closer, peeked at the papers again, and concluded, “You were talking about me.”

Tiedoll hid a grimace. “Yes,” he admitted, because there was no getting around it, really, and hoped Allen would not ask him to elaborate.

Allen looked at him, silver eyes large, but neither innocent nor guileless. He wasn’t smiling. “He gave you bad news,” Allen continued, slow and almost inflectionless, “and you don’t want to talk about it.”

“That… is also true,” Tiedoll agreed cautiously.

Pause.

“He told you I’ll die,” Allen said decisively.

Tiedoll often forgot how intelligent Allen was, and then Allen reminded him.

“Not necessarily,” Tiedoll argued, adding silently, _because I will not let you go easily._

Allen apparently disregarded this in favor of adding, “Lots of people think I’m going to die. They always have.” He smiled, different from his usual in that it was not polite, lighthearted, or reassuring. “But they’ve always been wrong before.”

Tiedoll relaxed slightly, took a moment to admire Allen’s strength instead of regretting it, and replied, “Of course.”

He did not say, _it only takes once,_ which was what he was thinking.

He thought that Allen heard it anyway, but the boy’s smile never wavered.

Abruptly, Tiedoll picked up the stack of research papers, smiled at Allen, and said, “Let me take these back to Reever. Then I can go get lunch, and you can tell me about your day in a bit more detail. And then, if you like, we can train a bit more this evening.”

Allen’s expression lightened, and the white-haired boy smiled again. “Okay,” he agreed.

“And Allen?” Tiedoll let his expression turn serious.

Allen tilted his head in question.

“I’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe.”

Tiedoll watched as color spread across Allen’s cheeks, and looking away was not enough to hide the boy’s smile.

He didn’t say anything, but that was okay. Tiedoll knew what he meant.


	29. Types of Listening

Allen was nervous.

He hadn’t wanted to let Tiedoll know this, because Tiedoll would try to fix it, and probably, in this case, make it worse. But he _was_ nervous.

What was going to happen this time? Surely it wasn’t just the akuma. All apprentices were at risk of being killed by an akuma; Allen was actually _less_ likely to die that way than most, because of his immunity to akuma poison. He wasn’t special.

But Cross thought so. Cross knew something.

It wasn’t like Allen hadn’t faced death before, obviously – time and time and time again, in many and varied forms and incarnations – but he hated not knowing what form it would take this time. What to look out for.

He was wandering the halls now, aimlessly. Tiedoll had gone back to researching, and Allen was too distracted to find a way to entertain himself.

“Allen?”

Allen started and half-turned around, silver eyes landing on- “Marie?” he echoed, surprised.

Marie smiled, speeding up a little to catch up to Allen. “I’m glad I came across you,” Marie said when he’d reached him, and Allen tilted his head in confusion. “I heard about what happened. Lenalee told me.”

Allen was confused for a moment – how would Lenalee have known? – before he let out a startled hum of comprehension. “About what General Cross is trying?” he clarified.

Marie nodded, his brow furrowed slightly in clear concern. “Yes. Is there something else I should know about?”

“No,” Allen said, and then, “Master said he doesn’t think General Cross will succeed, since he doesn’t have a history of being very responsible. It’ll be okay.”

Marie smiled at him wryly. “And what do _you_ think?” he asked.

Allen dropped his gaze. “…I don’t want to leave Master,” he said after a moment.

Marie’s smile softened and turned a little more reassuring. “I know. And Master knows, too. He’ll do his best to make sure you stay with him.”

Allen nodded reluctantly. “General Cross doesn’t seem like he gives up easily,” he said carefully.

Now Marie’s smile vanished altogether, and he looked as serious as Tiedoll ever did when he was addressing a concern of Allen’s. It was… nice, to not be dismissed, or derided.

“He doesn’t,” Marie acknowledged. “It’s one of the things that gives him his reputation as a difficult man. But, Allen, Master doesn’t give up easily, either.” He smiled again. “Besides, I’m sure Komui will help.”

Allen tilted his head. “What makes you say that?”

“Komui has always tried to act in the best interests of the exorcists,” Marie explained. “I’m sure Master’s mentioned Central to you?”

“Yes,” Allen confirmed cautiously.

“Komui has been acting as a buffer since he came,” Marie told him. “Things are better than they were because of him.” Smile. “He won’t let General Cross harm you any more than he would Central.”

“…Okay,” Allen agreed. “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” Marie replied easily. “By the way… Are you lost?”

Allen suppressed a noise of surprise, and then smiled sheepishly.

“No,” he admitted. “I wasn’t really trying to go anywhere.”

Marie chuckled. “Would you like to go outside? The forest is very nice.”

“I’d like that, thanks,” Allen decided, giving Marie a curious look. Why did he care?

Marie was quiet as he led the way to the back door of the Order, which led into a forest. Allen spent some of the time watching him thoughtfully and most of the rest counting doors, of which there were so many he couldn’t help but wonder how many there were in the entire Order. He wondered if Lenalee had ever counted.

It wasn’t until they were in the forest, with its rustling leaves and dappled shadows and occasional chirping birds, that Marie spoke again.

“Master cares about us very much.”

Not expecting it, Allen was startled enough to jump, eyes snapping back to Marie. After a moment, he frowned and nodded slowly.

“I know,” he answered, voice slow and questioning.

Marie looked at him and offered a small, understanding smile. “He’s had a lot of apprentices; it’s made him a little paranoid, I think.” His smile turned a little wry. “While you’re a great deal more polite than he is, you remind me of Kanda.”

Allen scowled. “Hey, I’m nothing like-”

“You seem like the independent sort,” Marie cut him off, surprising Allen enough to silence him. “Kanda finds Master bothersome because Master tries to handle everything he can before Kanda has to.”

Allen stared at Marie and did not speak.

“I want you to know,” Marie continued, smile softening, “that if you feel the need – I am available if you need advice but do not want help.” He chuckled softly. “Of course, if you want help, I’d be willing to offer that, too.”

Allen stared at Marie for a few moments longer, and then smiled, dipping his head so he no longer met Marie’s eyes, gazing at the ground.

“Thank you,” he said politely.

Perhaps, if there came a time when Allen was _willing_ to go to Marie for advice, he would even take him up on that.

He started as Marie reached over to ruffle his hair gently, and then the older man stepped back.

“But enough of that,” Marie said, and Allen glanced up to see Marie smiling almost humorously. “Kanda likes to use this forest to train sometimes, and Master likes to draw here. What do you think you’d like to do?”

Allen considered, and then said, “I think I’d like to listen.”

“Funny,” Marie told him. “That’s what I like to do, too.”

Allen smiled, letting out a soft laugh, and sat down. Not far away, Marie sat down as well, and Allen closed his eyes and listened.

The sounds of a forest, he decided, were very different from the sounds of a city.

He liked it.


	30. Reassessment

A week after Tiedoll talked to Cross, Allen finished his daily training routine and turned to look at Tiedoll, who, he suddenly noticed, was now standing with a man Allen didn’t recognize.

Allen tilted his head curiously. The blond, brown-eyed man was holding himself stiff and tall, and he was holding a clipboard. His eyes, narrow and intent, examined Allen discerningly.

“Master?” Allen questioned. “Who is this?”

Tiedoll looked strained, Allen noted, and frowned. It wasn’t obvious, but the corners of his eyes looked tight, and his fingers stretched and curled as if searching for something – a pencil, Allen thought, or a paintbrush. Tiedoll liked to draw when he was stressed.

“This is Edmond Muller,” Tiedoll explained, and his gaze flicked to Allen, his worry clear. “He’s come to Headquarters on General Cross’ request.”

Allen hummed as his breathing slowed, and he jogged over, stopping a few feet away to eye the man cautiously.

“Why?” he asked at last, slightly suspicious.

“He’s going to evaluate my ability to teach you,” Tiedoll explained, “to determine whether or not I am unfit to do so.”

Allen transferred his gaze to the man, who barely reacted save for raising his eyebrows slightly. “What happens if you say Master isn’t fit?” he questioned suspiciously.

“Then you’ll be transferred to another general’s care,” Edmond said promptly. “Most likely Cross Marian, as he was the one to raise the question and is currently available.”

As Allen understood it, Cross really wouldn’t know teaching if it did a naked backflip on top of his head.

“Okay,” Allen acknowledged, and looked back at Tiedoll. “What are we doing?” Normally he would be released to his own devices after morning training, but he assumed, with Muller here, that things would be different.

Tiedoll’s head inclined toward him slightly, tension still clear in the lines of his face even as he replied, “Now would be a good time to go over your writing skills, I think.”

Allen nodded. He wasn’t especially fond of it – his handwriting was terrible and even reading didn’t come especially easy – but he understood, at least, that it was necessary. Tiedoll’s exercises were better than the Order’s paperwork, anyway.

Muller made a note. Allen tried not to look at him.

* * *

Muller was surprisingly quiet, most of the time. Through the writing and then reading practice, he was a silent presence in the background, though Allen was constantly hyperaware of him – something he thought Tiedoll noticed, given how actively he was attempting to hold Allen’s attention.

Afterward, the man tapped on his clipboard for a bit, a frown on his face as he clearly mulled over his findings. Allen kept his face still as he watched him, while Tiedoll’s brow was wrinkled even as he rested a hand lightly on Allen’s shoulder.

Finally, Muller nodded to himself, flipped his pen, and tucked it behind his ear.

“Preliminary findings are good,” he said at last, with a small nod to Tiedoll. “As expected for a mentor of your experience. Allen is your thirteenth apprentice, is he not?”

How pleasant, Allen thought dryly, to be reminded of how many of Tiedoll’s previous apprentices had died.

“That is correct,” Tiedoll acknowledged with a nod.

“You have a set schedule and a good idea of what needs to be worked on,” Muller continued, fingers tapping against his knee restlessly. “And you appear to be patient with him, though without any noticeable resistance, that doesn’t necessarily mean much.”

True.

“However.” Muller stopped tapping his fingers and flattened his hand over his knee, expression turning serious. “He has no independence. This is very important for our future exorcists. An exorcist who cannot fend for himself is worse than useless.”

Allen tensed; he wouldn’t readily admit it, but that chafed. He was _plenty_ independent – he always had been. Tiedoll’s behavior did not and probably never would have any bearing on that.

Tiedoll’s expression tightened slightly, and Allen felt a slight squeeze at his shoulder.

“He is a child,” Tiedoll said mildly. “By the time he passes out of my tutelage, he’ll have grown and be more than ready to take on the challenge of exorcism.”

“Not at this rate, he won’t,” Muller countered. “You cannot teach him to be independent if you’re always holding his hand. This has always been your problem as a master, General Tiedoll.”

This wasn’t going to go well.

Allen didn’t want to lose this.

He rolled his shoulder and Tiedoll automatically complied with the silent request, removing his hand from Allen’s shoulder and placing it instead onto his own knee. Allen lifted his head to meet Muller’s eyes, silver gaze confident and unwavering.

“What would I have to do?” Allen asked. “To prove that wasn’t a problem.”

Tiedoll started, and Allen could almost feel the concern rolling off of him as he looked down at Allen. By contrast, Muller studied him for a moment, a small frown on his face and a deep furrow between his eyebrows.

And then he smiled.


	31. Proof of Purchase

“I can do it,” Allen said.

“You’ve been my apprentice for less than a year,” Tiedoll argued, worry and stress creasing the lines of his face, eyes not leaving Allen’s. “There’s still more to teach you, and you’re still-”

“Master. I can do it.”

Allen’s face was serious, and he wasn’t smiling, but he was looking at Tiedoll, whose expression was wavering from frustrated to worried to angry – not at Allen, Allen realized. At Muller. At Cross.

After a few long moments, Tiedoll sighed, long and heavy, his head dropping as if under weight.

“I know you can, Allen,” he said at last, gaze sorrowful. “But I’m worried about you.”

Allen smiled, leaned forward, and threw his arms briefly around Tiedoll.

“I’ll be okay,” he promised, and then let go, stepping back.

Tiedoll looked startled, and then he smiled ruefully and straightened up a little, reaching up to adjust his glasses. “I’ll be here when you get back,” he said at last, shaking his head slightly. “But I don’t know how long they’ll let me keep you with me, after you’ve done this.”

Allen could see Tiedoll refraining from voicing the thought, _if you can do this,_ and he appreciated the effort. “It’s just one mission. It’s even an easy one. And when I do it, they can’t say you’re a bad teacher anymore.”

Tiedoll smiled, and Allen could make out every etching of fondness and trust in it. “No, I suppose not,” he murmured, and stood up. “Come on, then. Let’s see Komui. I’m sure he’s been informed of this… _situation,_ by now.”

Situation, travesty, abomination. Allen knew his master well enough by now to be well aware what he’d actually wanted to say.

Tiedoll was such a worrywart. Allen would be just fine.

He ignored the worry creeping up his own spine, and followed Tiedoll to Komui’s office.

* * *

Sure enough, when they got there, Komui was already standing behind his desk, hands folded behind his back with Muller, who nodded to them as they approached, standing a few feet away. To Allen’s slight surprise, there was also a finder there, with bandages wrapped around the lower half of his face as if in a makeshift mask, looking at Toma with some visible curiosity.

“Allen,” Muller greeted with a curt nod, and also a slight twitch of displeasure at the casual form of address.

Allen suppressed a smile – a side effect of having no last name was that people _had_ to call him by his first. (Tiedoll had asked, once, if there was anything Allen could use, but Allen hadn’t told him Mana’s last name. He didn’t deserve it.)

“Allen,” Komui echoed, slightly warmer, even with the worry glinting in his eyes. “Are you ready for this?”

Allen nodded and stepped forward, hearing Tiedoll sigh behind him.

“He’s been convincing me of as much for the past fifteen minutes or so, so I certainly hope so,” Tiedoll said, trying to sound cheerful and almost succeeding.

Allen smiled, shaking his head slightly. “I’ll be fine,” he assured Komui, taking the folder the man held out. He glanced at the finder. “Who’s this?”

“This is Toma,” Komui explained, and the finder offered Allen a respectful nod. “Even if this is to prove your, ah, independence-” Komui glanced at Muller, who looked unmoved. “It is a requirement for at least one finder to accompany all exorcists under the age of sixteen, if they are not accompanied by an older exorcist.”

“Oh,” Allen said thoughtfully, and then smiled at Toma. “Hello, Toma.”

“Good evening, Master Allen,” Toma returned. A little tense, but that was understandable, Allen thought. He was going into a battlefield with only a minor who may or may not be able to fight accompanying him.

He wondered how long Toma had been a finder for.

“Your mission,” Komui started, only slightly halting, “is to retrieve an Innocence held by the finders in Glasgow and bring it back to headquarters. There are reports of akuma in the area, but no indication of unusually high numbers. In an ordinary exorcist, this would be a fairly routine mission.”

All this reassurance was actually making Allen _more_ tense, but he appreciated the thought, at least.

Muller cleared his throat, hiding a frown. “You’ll be monitored from a distance, but don’t expect any aid unless death is genuinely imminent. You likely won’t even see them if you do well.”

Allen was almost impressed at how well Muller was conveying his doubt of that possibility without any words at all.

“Okay,” Allen agreed with a nod, folder pressed to his chest. He looked at Tiedoll, who took a breath, and then smiled at him.

“You’ll do fine, Allen,” Tiedoll assured him, completely ignoring everything that had happened before they entered the office. “As Komui said, it’s a routine mission. Toma will be able to lead you to the correct location, stay with him-”

Allen looked at Tiedoll. Tiedoll sighed.

“Stay aware of your surroundings,” Tiedoll amended. “I would prefer it if you stayed near Toma.”

Allen smiled. “Okay, Master,” he agreed. Tiedoll _almost_ laughed.

“You’ll do fine,” he repeated.

Of course he would. And he would come back, and Tiedoll would still be his master, and really, that was the important thing here.

Allen turned to Toma and smiled. “Ready to go, Mr. Toma?”


	32. Chapter 32

On the train, both Allen and Toma were quiet. Allen kept his gaze on the window, very aware of Toma sitting across from him. The finder had tried to sit outside the cabin, even insisted on it when Allen invited him in, but he had quickly learned that Allen could be just as insistent and twice as persuasive.

Childish manipulation tactics may have been applied. Allen had no shame.

Allen was a little surprised that Toma let the silence extend on and on; most people became uncomfortable very quickly in such quiet. The man just shuffled his cards in his hands while Allen finally turned to his folder, opened it, and read.

It was as Komui said; they were going to a city in Scotland, where finders were waiting with a secured Innocence. Akuma levels low, none spotted. They would be going straight there and straight back, and Allen would keep the Innocence safe until they returned to Headquarters.

His mind wandered, back to said Headquarters. Kanda, the jerk, probably would have laughed at Allen just for thinking he could do even this much. Lenalee would be delivering coffee to the Science Department alone again, and Daisya would play by himself. He hadn’t seen Marie before he left, but Tiedoll would probably let the others know where he went, even if only with his fretting (and Master was usually more careful to keep people in the loop than that, so probably he would actually tell them).

It was nice, just to think about it, even if it would be a while before he could try to be part of it again. Nice to know that those people liked him at least enough to try to include him.

He closed the folder and pressed it to his lap, letting his gaze drift back to Toma, neutral save his curiosity. The man shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, but, to his credit, kept on shuffling his cards as if he didn’t notice.

Allen let his gaze linger on Toma for a little longer, silent and probably unnerving, before he finally spoke. “How long have you been a finder, Mr. Toma?”

Toma started at being addressed, turning his gaze from the cards to Allen. His hands stilled and fell to his lap, and, visibly cautious, he answered, “Around nine months, Master Allen.”

Allen hummed. “That’s not very long.”

“It’s long for a finder, Master Allen,” Toma assured him. His face didn’t move much when he spoke, Allen noted; it made it a little harder to read his mode. “We don’t last very long.”

“Are you scared?” Allen asked, gaze intent on Toma.

Toma gaze at him, nigh unreadable, and finally answered, “Not as much as I once would have been. Finders die every day. I’m not special.”

Ah, existential despair. Allen himself was familiar with that. He wondered which route Toma would take – total apathy, or bitter rage. Or a mental break that looked like happiness.

“Are you scared, Master Allen?” Toma asked suddenly, gaze suddenly almost as intent on Allen as Allen’s was on him.

“No,” Allen said, and did not explain.

Toma was hard to read, Allen determined, but as far as Allen could tell, he was also dedicated to getting the job done. He looked back out the window.

“Would you rather I call you by your last name?” Toma asked suddenly, not yet going back to his cards.

“I don’t have one,” Allen told the window, “so that would be weird.”

Toma stared at him. Allen stared out the window. Toma went back to shuffling cards.

Maybe taking out his anxiety on Toma was a little mean.

Allen took a deep breath, blew it out, and, though he kept his eyes on the passing landscape, he said to Toma, “Master knows I’m good enough to do this, he just worries. He even worries about Marie, and he’s been doing this for years.” Allen smiled. “He’s silly sometimes.”

Toma glanced up at him, almost wary. After a moment of hesitation, he asked, “How long have you been in training?”

“Since January,” Allen replied, shifting his gaze back to Toma, but shifting to lean against the window. “Not very long. So I’m not very good, but good enough.” He studied Toma for a moment, determined that that was not good enough, and reached up to tap the pentagram at the top of his scar. “I was cursed, right before Master found me.” He swallowed and did not think about the tears, the cries of the akuma souls, or the towering figure of Mana’s skeleton akuma, disappointed and angry. “It lets me see akuma while they’re still in human form.” Allen smiled. “Don’t worry. You’ll be okay.”

Toma’s gaze lingered on him, and Allen half-wished he could see the man’s mouth; he was sure that he’d be better able to determine Toma’s expression if he could. Then again, maybe Toma didn’t really move that either.

“You seem an unusual exorcist, Master Allen,” Toma said at last, and Allen smiled.

“I’m not surprised,” he said quietly, looking down at his feet, the fingers of his right hand playing with the hem of the glove on his left. “Do you mind if I sleep the rest of the way to Glasgow?” Nightmares were a plague on his performance, he was sure, even if one he’d probably need to learn to live with.

“Not at all, Master Allen,” Toma said immediately.

Allen smiled at him, then curled up on the train seat and listened quietly to the rush of the train and the shuffle of Toma playing with his cards.

He didn’t expect to actually fall asleep, in an unfamiliar place with an unfamiliar person, but he did. Maybe he was more tired than he thought.

Or maybe the Order had made him complacent. There were a lot of nice people there…

Toma glanced up and found the little exorcist breathing deep and even, a fair amount of time after he’d said he’d go to sleep, and almost smiled.

He still wasn’t so sure that this exorcist could handle a mission on his own, but he was no longer sure he couldn’t, either.

Not, of course, that it was Toma’s place to judge the worth of an exorcist.


	33. Chapter 33

Allen woke up as soon as Toma’s hand made contact with his shoulder, and was already looking up, startled, when the finder spoke.

“Master Allen, we’re here,” Toma told him, bandaged face not giving anything away, though he did let go and straighten up.

Allen blinked, reaching up to rub at his eye so he could take a moment to process that, and then smiled and nodded. “Okay. Thanks, Mister Toma.”

He slid off the seat and followed after the finder, glancing around as alertness returned to him.

He was outside the Order now, which meant he had to keep a careful lookout for akuma. His eye would activate if he saw one, but he had to actually _look_ at them for that to work. He let himself relax. He could do this. Komui had said it was a simple in-and-out mission.

Which would be more comforting if he’d ever _been_ on an in-and-out mission before, but it was something, at least.

“Where are we going?” Allen questioned Toma. Look left, then right, then left. He let his gaze linger briefly on each person in the crowd, smiling slightly as they busied themselves with whatever was on their mind at the time.

“A church some ways from here,” Toma told him, glancing down. Then, seemingly unable to help himself, “Are you quite sure you’ll know an akuma if you see it?”

Allen ‘hm’ed. “If I’m looking at it. Doesn’t do much good if I’m not.” He glanced up in time to see Toma visibly repress more questions, and smiled slightly. “Don’t worry. I’m observant.”

Toma’s gaze lingered on Allen for a moment, and Allen had to admit it made him a little uncomfortable, if only because Toma could’ve been making almost any face at all and Allen would have very little to go on. He wondered, briefly, why Toma’s face was bandaged.

Then he remembered he had a job to do, and went back to looking around.

“Mister Toma?” Allen asked suddenly, without looking up. Toma started. “Have you worked with any of the other exorcists before?”

Toma cleared his throat. “Yes. I’ve worked with Miss Lee before, once. Finders work more with the younger exorcists, I understand.”

Allen smiled slightly, almost absently. “Lenalee is very nice, isn’t she?” he mused aloud.

Then, before Toma could reply, his left eye focused, half the world turned gray, and his stomach dropped and decided to turn itself inside out.

“Ah,” he murmured quietly. Toma tensed, and Allen felt the man’s hand go briefly to Allen’s elbow before Allen shrugged it away and tilted his head up slightly, keeping his eyes on the akuma – a little boy in neat clothing. “Mister Toma, is it a finder’s job to keep people away from fights?”

Toma swallowed, but kept steady, which made Allen smile. He liked to smile. Smiling was good, even when he was looking at- Tears pricked at his eyes, unbidden, and he tried to ignore them.

_That poor akuma…_

“Yes, it is,” Toma confirmed, distracting Allen, thankfully. “Should I…?”

Allen nodded slightly, not too worried. He’d been expecting this, more or less; there were akuma sightings reported, and he was more likely than most to be able to pick them out and force them to reveal themselves.

Tiedoll told him that situational awareness in a fight was his weakest point; he tried his best to get the lay of the land before he reached the akuma, as Tiedoll had suggested. After all, if he was going to insist on initiating the fight one way or another, he may as well take advantage of his head start.

Then it was a matter of patience, trying to get it away from as many people as possible; akuma didn’t tend to worry about things like human casualties. Actually, human casualties were kind of their objective.

_But always look after yourself first, Allen._

(Not the directive Allen might have expected from Tiedoll, in the beginning. But that was silly; he knew that now. The man could play all-loving creature of benevolence all he wanted, but he, too, was a selfish man who cared for him and his above all. And he- he had claimed _Allen.)_

Despite that first instruction, though, Tiedoll had asked him to keep the humans safe, and Allen wanted that as well, so he found the akuma and bent down and asked,

“Do you want to play?”

And the akuma beamed at him and said, “Yes, yes!”

Above it, the human soul screamed and cried, staring at the akuma and at Allen and all around.

 _Don’t worry,_ he told it, not breaking his gaze from the akuma. _You’ll be free soon._

And behind him, Toma started to usher the humans away, starting so close to Allen that it must be unnerving, and Allen smiled warmly.

_I can do this._


	34. Chapter 34

A forward roll under the akuma, and Allen was able to turn, eyes narrowed in focus, and push off the ground to leap at the turned back of the akuma.

His right hand caught a gun to keep him steady, and his left tore deep into the akuma in a screech of tearing metal. His fingers curled, wrapping around something important, and before the akuma could try to shoot him off, he _pulled._

As always, the akuma fell from the air, and he winced as he hit the ground, rolling away from the wreckage. Just in time, he pushed himself up and craned his neck to watch the soul – a girl about the boy’s age – smile at him and wave before vanishing.

A sister, maybe, or a friend.

Allen got to his feet and glanced around, but unfortunately, while his eye was useful for spotting akuma in a crowd, it was less so for finding any that were in the immediate vicinity at all. He poked around for a bit, but found none, and, pulling on his glove, finally called out, a hint of anxiety creeping unchecked into his voice,

“Mister Toma?”

There was a pause, and then Allen twitched a little as he heard a shuffling noise. Turning toward it, he found Toma, looking a little scuffed and frazzled.

Allen relaxed and gave Toma a small smile. “Coast’s clear.” _I think._

“I see,” Toma said in reply, glancing around as if akuma would suddenly make themselves known despite Allen’s claim. “Mister Allen, are you alright?”

“Mm-hm,” Allen nodded, spreading his arms and hopping in place a little to demonstrate his fineness. “Not a scratch.” He gave Toma another smile. “I’m just a little dirty.”

“I see,” Toma repeated, and Allen hid a giggle at Toma’s tone – somewhere between resigned and bemused. “Are you going to want to wash up when we arrive?”

Allen shook his head. “I can deal with being dirty.” He considered. “Besides. I’ll probably just get dirty again, since I think there are more akuma around somewhere. Right?”

The corners of Toma’s eyes tightened in a way that Allen recognized as a slight grimace, and he nodded. “I’d expect so. The estimates were placed somewhere between five and eight scattered throughout the area.”

Allen considered that and nodded. He still had a hard time taking more than one at a time, but two he could probably manage, and _maybe_ three. Maybe.

“Which way?” Allen asked, glancing at the street. It was almost empty now, people having fled from the sounds of gunfire and wreckage.

“This way,” Toma answered, picking up a little to lead Allen forward.

* * *

It was almost surreal, the fact that only a few blocks away, the streets were busy again. Certainly, they were a little more chaotic than usual, murmurs of fear and caution rippling through the crowd and agitated people pushing their way around, but there were people nonetheless.

Toma led Allen to an unmarked door by a haberdashery, and then knocked seven times and stopped. A moment later, the door was answered by a harried-looking man with short black hair, wearing the tan coat of a finder.

“Toma,” the man greeted with some relief in his voice – they must know each other, Allen thought, possibly as friends or at least close colleagues. But not close enough to bring back, he didn’t think. “Where is…”

The man looked down, and Allen gave him a patient smile.

“It’s good to meet you, sir,” he said sweetly. “My name is Allen. What’s yours?”

“Ah…” The man blinked and glanced at Toma, who nodded slightly, and Allen hid a smile. More likely than not, _this_ finder had not worked with one of the exorcists before, at least not one of the younger ones. “My name is Kenneth,” he said after a moment. “Come in. Jane has the Innocence.”

Allen edged in just ahead of Toma and glanced around curiously. A look over his shoulder saw a glimpse of a figure he thought he recognized, but then the door closed and it was too late.

Hm. The person sent to oversee his mission, maybe. Or just his imagination.

“Allen?” Toma asked warily. “Did you…?”

Allen blinked and then looked at Toma and smiled, shaking his head. “No. I just saw something that caught my eye. It’s probably gone now.” He looked back at Kenneth, who looked confused. “We should get this done quickly, right? Master said that Innocences should be taken to headquarters as soon as possible, but an exorcist goes with it for safety reasons.”

“Exactly right,” Kenneth confirmed. “Are you… new, then?”

Allen bobbed his head, following Kenneth into another room. “I just got to the Order not long ago, but I’ve been training for months. I know what I’m doing, don’t worry.”

There was a woman with short-cropped blonde hair in the other room, flipping through a book distractedly with one hand cupped over her pocket in an almost paranoid fashion.

“Jane,” Kenneth called, making the woman look up. “The exorcist has arrived.”

The woman gazed at Allen for a moment, slightly startled, but then her expression turned serious, and she nodded.

“Mister Exorcist,” she acknowledged, and shifted her hand from cupping the pocket to reaching into it. “I’m glad you arrived safely.”

She pulled it out, and Allen leaned forward a little to examine the cube in the palm of her hand – bright, fluorescent green, glowing with its own divine light. It almost seemed to pulse, sitting there.

He held out his human hand, and she dropped the luminous cube into his hand. He curled his fingers around it and tucked it into his pocket silently.

He smiled. “Thank you. I’ll take care of it.”

“Thank you,” Jane murmured, tilting her head toward him slightly. “Keep it safe.”

Allen thought that she’d probably been in the Order the longest, of all the people here.

He wondered if he’d be around that long.


	35. Chapter 35

“There’s an hour and a half until the first train back,” Jane told Allen, while the boy looked up at her expectantly. “You’ll need to be at the station by then, and it’s around half an hour’s walk from here.”

Toma and Allen would be heading back to the Order first, while the rest would be taking a later train, after everything here had been cleared up. Allen was pleased; the mission had gone well so far, which meant- Well. He wanted to get back to Tiedoll soon.

“We should probably go earlier,” Allen offered, glancing at Toma with a faint smile. “In case we run into any akuma on the way. I’m not very fast.”

Toma nodded back, looking perhaps slightly less worried than he had on the train here.

“Why were you sent on a solo mission so early?” Jane asked suddenly, drawing his attention so their gazes met.

Allen considered her for a moment, letting his smile fade away into a small frown. She held his gaze, a hint of suspicion in her eyes, and after a few moments, he shrugged.

“General Cross wanted me as his apprentice,” he said at last, frowning at the thought. It worried him a little, still – as he understood it, Cross had never had an apprentice before, so what could he possibly want with Allen? And what could he possibly know that made him so certain that Allen would- “And he went to Central to try to get me taken from my current master.”

Jane gave him a blank look. “You’re here because two generals are fighting over you?” she interpreted incredulously.

Allen tilted his head, considered, and giggled a little. “I guess,” he agreed, and then shook his head and smiled, small and certain. “It’ll turn out okay, anyway.” He had confidence in Tiedoll, and after the past few months, he had confidence in _himself,_ too.

They’d be fine.

“I’m sure it will,” Jane said, apparently on automatic, and Allen had to work not to laugh, smiling warmly.

* * *

They left with about an hour until the train arrived, with Allen waving over his shoulder at the finders left behind.

They didn’t talk much; Toma was tense again, and Allen’s mind had drifted back to matters at the Order – to thinking about Tiedoll, waiting for him and probably worrying, and Kanda and Daisya and Marie, who he hadn’t gotten to know very well yet, most likely subject to Master’s fretful tendencies. Allen smiled a little, but it faded quickly.

And Cross, thinking God knew what about the whole thing.

Finally, though, he shook his head and focused; taking your time was fine when you were only travelling, he reminded himself, but when you had a job to do – like watching for a threat – you needed to _do it,_ as well as you could.

They were still ten minutes away from the train station when Allen’s eye twinged, and he frowned and looked harder.

Ah- there was one. He looked away quickly and nudged Toma beside him, and Toma responded instantly, looking down with eyes that were maybe a little wider with alarm. Allen smiled at him reassuringly.

“It’s just the one,” he said, keeping his voice low for the people around them. “It’s her over there, against the building.”

Toma glanced over, apparently trying to locate the akuma, but then nodded and slipped away, starting to do his job of ushering people away. Allen watched for a few moments, curious, and then looked back at the akuma-woman.

She was gone.

His breath hitched slightly with surprise, eyes widening, and he took a half-step back, starting to spin slowly in place, searching the crowd for her and her rotted-soul sister/friend/lover-

He found another akuma a few moments later, but it was a man this time, shabbily dressed and looking right at him. He almost flinched – there was more than one? But then he shook his head to himself, taking another breath to let it out just a little too quickly.

That was okay. He could handle two. He’d handled two once or twice before.

He looked again, stalling until more of the civilians left, and there was the woman. Tiedoll liked to wait for everyone to be gone, when he could – the habit often made Allen antsy, but he resolved to try his best anyway. Tiedoll had never yelled at him for letting civilians get caught in the crossfire, but that didn’t mean he didn’t mind.

Allen edged around towards the side of the street, glancing briefly at Toma, who was having trouble with some of the more stubborn pedestrians. Allen turned around, and his eye stung at him viciously enough to make him wince.

But not enough to distract him from the third akuma, right in front of him.

His eyes widened, and for just a moment, he froze, staring at the soul that was right in front of him, face to face and far too detailed for the closeness. It stared back, stricken and miserable, and cried out silently. He took a step back.

The akuma transformed, bursting into a hulking steel balloon, and before he could think twice, he activated his Innocence and swiped at it – his claws formed and skidded across the metal, driving it away but not really hurting it.

Around him, people started to scream and hurry away. That was good, he supposed, eyes fixed on the monster before him. It meant they’d be safe.

Where was Toma?

He shook the thought away and dove out of the path as the akuma shot a volley of bullets at him, and glanced over as he saw the first akuma transform, and then the second.

Three. Three akuma. He could maybe do three akuma, if he tried.

He backed up, eyes darting between the three akuma warily – one silver that cast the world in colors and light, and the other black and red, revealing the darkness that highlighted the cursed souls of the damned akuma.

He clenched his jaw, took a breath, and then darted forward.


	36. Chapter 36

_Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry-_

Allen’s claws ripped through the last akuma with an earsplitting screech, and it fell to dust, leaving him alone in the middle of the street, now decorated with cracks and bullet holes along more than half the block.

Allen himself was crouched near the sidewalk, wide-eyed and struggling to catch his breath while poison akuma dust itched at his throat. His Innocence deactivated with a thought, and he reached toward his right arm, hissing when his rough hand hit the painful scrape stretching from his elbow to his shoulder. His face ached along one side, sure to bruise, and he was shaking.

Apropos of nothing, the thought _I can’t let them take me from Tiedoll_ flashed across his mind.

It took him a moment to stop gasping, and tears – from stress and pain – blurred his vision when he tilted his head up with the vague intention of finding Toma.

A flash of movement made him turn his head, and he caught a glimpse of blond hair. He bit his cheek, muscles loosening in exhaustion.

His watcher.

Allen took a deep breath and then, fluidly, rose to his feet, wobbling just a little, and reached up to dry his eyes. He waited a moment, two, and when he was sure his voice would be steady, he called,

“Mister Toma? It’s safe now.”

A few moments passed, but before Allen had the time to grow truly nervous, Toma appeared from one of the alleys, looking shaken but unharmed. He even still had his pack.

“I can bandage that scrape, Mister Allen,” Toma offered, voice pitched up just slightly from stress.

Allen’s demeanor faltered, and his left hand made a false start toward the injury again before he stopped it.

“At the station,” he requested, tipping his head over his shoulder to look that way. Glancing back at Toma, he added, “I’m okay, though, really.” He formed a smile that hurt his cheek and probably didn’t look _near_ sincere enough, and reached into his jacket, producing the Innocence with a flourish. “And this is, too!”

Toma relaxed, just a little. Good. He still approached, though, coughing on the poison dust cloud and pointedly guiding out of it with a light push against his shoulder. Satisfied, Allen put the Innocence away again and didn’t look for his watcher.

“You’re bleeding, Allen,” Toma pointed out, as if worried Allen hadn’t noticed. He kept their pace steady but slow; Allen hoped they wouldn’t miss their train. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

Allen ached all over, he was covered in bruises and scrapes, and he’d _already_ torn his nice new uniform because the first akuma’s explosion had sent him skidding along the road. He shrugged.

“I’m okay,” he repeated, shifting away a little for emphasis.

Toma still looked concerned, but he let it go, for which Allen was relieved; they were still being watched, he was sure, even if he couldn’t see them, wouldn’t look.

They reached the station ten minutes before the train was due to arrive, which was both a relief and a surprise; fights always screwed with Allen’s sense of time.

They found a place to sit and wait, skirting around anyone who might stop and question them. Once they were settled, Toma conjured a first aid kit out of his pack, and opened it to reveal, among other things, a roll of clean bandages and a bottle of water. Allen, seeing where he was going with this, shrugged off one sleeve of his jacket, freeing his right arm.

Taking the bandages, Toma snipped a length off, soaked it in water, and handed Allen the bottle, warning him, “I’m going to wash your arm now.”

Allen nodded quietly, and then winced as Toma started to scrape lightly at the torn skin. He took a deep drink to distract himself, glancing anxiously over the platform to make sure there weren’t any more akuma lying in wait. They weren’t done yet, and most akuma attacks, Tiedoll had told him, happened on the way back.

Sometimes even on the train. Allen suppressed a sigh.

“You’re very determined to stay with your current master,” Toma remarked quietly – trying to distract Allen himself, Allen thought. He nodded.

“General Cross is strange,” he confessed, frowning a little. “He wants something from me, I think. I don’t know what.” He hissed as Toma scraped a little too hard, and then immediately wanted to chide himself. He drank a little more instead, and then continued, “Master Tiedoll is just- nice, I think. He does this because someone will, and he wants it done his way.” A beat, uncertain, and then, “He just wants people to be safe. You can see it in his Innocence.”

What did Allen’s Innocence say?

“I have never had the honor of seeing General Tiedoll’s Innocence,” Toma said, so dry it was nearly deadpan, and Allen laughed quietly.

“It fits,” Allen assured him, but didn’t try to explain further. Tiedoll’s Innocence was something best seen for yourself, really. There wasn’t a way to explain ‘giant fighting statues’ that sounded safe instead of terrifying.

A few more moments passed, and Toma finished cleaning the scrape.

“General Tiedoll has other apprentices, doesn’t he?” Toma asked, moving to bandage Allen’s arm now.

Allen nodded again. “I’ve met them. We get along, I think.” He hesitated a little, biting off his uncertainty. _Not well enough. I’m too new, too unfamiliar, causing too much trouble already-_

But Tiedoll was so patient, so fretful and anxious at the thought of Allen’s death, and he’d been so _determined_ to keep him – so sure that Allen would get along with the others.

Allen would return it tenfold, he promised himself. He would _make_ himself worth it.

The train arrived just a minute after Toma tied off the bandage, and Allen slipped the remains of his ruined sleeve back onto his arm. The train whistled, and Allen hopped to his feet, twisting slightly to give Toma a bright, earnest smile.

“Master will be happy to hear the mission went so well!” he chirped. “And I have a new record now! He’ll be proud of me. Come on!”


End file.
